my social problems (vent)

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I think I don't like the idea of someone getting to close to me or know i probably dont have much of a role. know that i probably don't even count as a bestfriend ppl regularly going out with friends im a little jealous of that even having money to go do things. Plus anxiety messing with heart. Constantly confused with these damn emotions not able to describe it. mistaking it as neutral/nothing at all. besides the stupid grin or a smile i wear on my face. then cry about it later not knowing who to talk to. Aaaand now I have someone who likes me who im pretty sure i have a crush on too. Im also absent minded during certain periods. And so on.

i cringe when I come back to this.  I don't know what I was trying to write.    
No punctuation at all, I must've been tired.

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