Finding Neverland

I

I huddled up on my bed, not looking anywhere to be exact. I felt a weighing down feeling as I watched my favorite Disney movie from when I was little. It was still one of my favorites although it was a great deal older than my grandmother.

"It's a Wendy bird?" One of the lost boys asked Tink, this part had always made me laugh but I was in no mood to at the moment. It was the anniversary of my dad's death, four years from the day my dad had last breathed.

This was by far the worst day of the year. I remember it as if it were yesterday, the soldiers holding a folded up flag, telling my mom and I how terribly sorry they were ... My dad had been stationed in Iraq as a marine. He and his platoon were heading into a small town when they were ambushed... Oo-freakin-rah.

Everything just went downhill from there...I slugged by in high school and managed to graduate and move out of Mom's house.

When Dad had to leave for the military, I used to watch this movie because I believed that someday, my own Peter Pan would rescue me and keep me happy while Daddy was gone ... I believed that when you wished on a star, it would come true. How many nights I spent at my windowsill wishing on a star for Daddy to come home? I cannot even say, it doesn't matter anyways ... it was all a waste of time. He's gone now.

I wasted all my days thinking about how it had happened. I would always cry just thinking about it. I wished he was still here. Oh how I missed how he always kissed my forehead before sleeping and say goodnight. I had longed for his warm hugs. He made me feel loved. I hoped that that day was all a horrible nightmare that I thought I would be able wake up and walk to my parents room and find him in there sleeping. But no this was reality. Tears streamed down my face just by thinking about it.

Sadly I stood up gingerly and looked back at our last picture of my father and I before he had gone out to war. His thick salt-and-pepper hair was parted in a classic college professor style and his walnut reading glasses proved exactly what his occupation was before the war, and I have to admit he was the handsomest male librarian in town and mom had troubles getting the other librarians and mothers off. Although thinking back upon it was useless worries due to the fact everyone knew my father was an honest man.

Carefully I let my eyelids close shut trying to remember if his feature were still etched into my memories, after a bit of thinking a structured jaw bone forced its way into my train of thought followed by a pair of caramel colored peepers and a kind smile.

"Daddy," I murmur to myself while my eyes were still clamped shut. This time I try to remember his scent of rosemary and chili pepper so that if I somehow forgot the obvious it would be like he had never gone.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I hear my bedroom door creak open although I try to ignore it knowing that it'll bring back terrible memories of the news if I pry my eyelids open. "Juliet." My sister's voice rings throughout the room forcing me to look reality in the eye.

"Yes Kate?" I ask feeling tears well up in my eyes as I turn to my older sister. Her steely blue eyes are bright with tears as well, I notice as she locks eyes with me, instantly I feel somewhat cornered as I scoot backwards.

Kate huffed and rolled her eyes, "Juliet c'mon." She say motioning for me to follow her down the stairs as we leave the tiny bedroom on the left.

The autumn breeze was shaking the leaves off tree branches, leaving them bare in the chill. The crunching sounds of the gravel beneath my black boots seemed to be the only sound filling the air as my sister and I made our way to the gray tombstone with our father's name etched into it. Kneeling down, we placed our roses on the ground. I close my eyes, taking it all in. . . .

"Jules?" Kate asked. "You alright?" I nod my head, "Y-yeah. . .well, as alright as I can be. . ." My older sister pulls me into a rather large hug rubbing my back softly. "I know, Hon, I miss him too. . ." And that's when we sit down on golf course green grass and cry. We weep and weep until no longer tears will come and I feel all hallow inside. My life really sucked now.

Suddenly Kate stands up stretching her arms a bit and gives me a careful smile. "I'm go to Suzanne's house for dinner, why don't you go get something for yourself. I'll leave the car with you and some cash." My sister says after giving me another hug and walking off. My stomach is still empty but I didn't want to eat anything in case I threw up from my crying so I decided some Starbucks would be okay.

A/N

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Jess, Celina, and Ashleigh!