A Window to the Past | Jikook ♥

Chapter 4

"I'm sorry..." said the sorrowful voice once again on the phone. But nobody heard the words. Nobody heard it because first, the phone had now landed hard against the floor and two, there was only one person in the dim corridor. Or more like a curled up form engulfed in a big black sweater.

He was vaguely aware of someone still talking in the long forgotten phone, but he couldn't care less at this moment. He couldn't care less with the deafening heartbeat throbbing in his head, taking over all of his senses, forcing him to hunch over. Each dull hammering echoed in his bones, making Jimin believe his heart would soon burst out of his ribcage, beating always faster, harder, and making Jimin shrink more and more, his tiny hands compressing his skull. He couldn't think, couldn't feel anything, except for the ringing beating in his ears, barely aware of his shallow breaths. He had only one thought twirling in his mind, like a mantra. She's gone... this only thought knocking him out and taking his breath away.

How much time did he spend curled in on himself? He didn't know, couldn't care, but at some point, he felt the gentle pressure of a big palm on his left shoulder. He looked up to find a blue ocean pair of eyes looking straight at him, wide open and worried. Jimin lowered his gaze to Namjoon's lips. His eyebrows knitted when he noticed they were moving, uttering words he couldn't hear with the throbbing still on going in his whole body. Despite his inability to respond to Namjoon's words, the rapper stayed with him, crouched down, his calming presence doing its effect on the distressed boy. Thanks to the comforting words Namjoon was whispering, "Breathe, Jimin, breathe with me, it'll be okay...", bit by bit, the hammering stopped and his breaths slowered, leaving him more empty and weary than he ever thought he could be.

"Jimin, are you okay now? What happened?" Said Namjoon when he was sure Jimin had regained most his senses.

"It's..." nothing.

He wished he could have said that. He wished he could have lied to him like he always did. It had became such a habit of his to always say that he was fine, even when it was a lie. It words usually slipped out of his lips like a mantra, almost automatic, but now his mouth couldn't form the words.

But this. This he could say. It clearly wasn't nothing and Namjoon wouldn't accept a lie after he had witnessed the state Jimin was in not even five minutes ago. He took a deep breath.

"My grandmother just died." he blurted out listlessly. As he spoke those words, he expected the realization to hit him hard, leaving him into a sobbing and crying mess. But none of that happened. Instead Jimin spoke with a dull and emotionless voice and felt nothing but a grim hollow spreading in his chest. It just didn't feel real. It seemed like his panic attack had drained all of his energy and emotions from him, leaving him numb to the reality around him.

The still rational part of him knew that she was gone. That she was dead, but it still felt like a lie as he said those words. Like his mind could not process this horrifying news.

The blue eyes before him widened immediately, displaying downright shock and almost immediately he was engulfed into a stifling embrace.

"Oh Chimmy... I'm so sorry, I know how close you were to her."

He didn't really know what to answer to that. He was sure he was supposed to cry. That's what happened when someone lost a close parent, right? They were supposed to break down, be depressed and all that... Right?

Namjoon retreated to get a better look a Jimin's face, eyebrows knitted, a sense of apprehensiveness written all over his face.

"How are you feeling?"

Well, how comical. Just when he hadn't a clue.

"I don't really know..." he said barely in a whisper, avoiding the older's concerned eyes.