Because I Had You

Pt. 1 Ch. 3

Shae Larson. May 25th 2018

I laid back down on my bed and just stared up at the ceiling, listening to his voice as I closed my eyes.

"Shae, come on, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ruin your night," I hear Paige sigh and the bed sink in next to me. "Well Paige you should have thought of that before coming in here," Summer groaned.

I ignored them for the time being and just listened to Shawn's voice and sighed. I missed his voice so much it was crazy, I just wanted to hear him laugh, argue with me over silly things, mock the way I talk, hear him sing in the mornings, I just miss everything about his voice.

"Honestly, fuck Shawn, he has no right to sing about your relationship like that and show it to the world!" Paige exclaims and I sit up immediately to look at her. She was pacing back and fourth, I didn't even realize they turned the music off. "Well it's not like he said my name, he just needed inspiration and–"

"Oh my god! You're his inspiration!" Summer chimes in and I groan. "That's not what I was getting at," I give her a look and she raises her arms up in defence. "No, no, Summer's right. If you think about it, without you he wouldn't have made these bomb ass songs," Paige says it like she's got it all figured out.

I roll my eyes and stand from my bed, fixing my hair in the process. "Okay whatever, this is a night to forget Shawn, not make me feel the heartbreak all over again by guilting me that I'm his inspiration!" I tell the both of them and grab my jacket from my closet. "Now, if you guys don't mind, can we hurry up and head to Jonathan's already?"

They nodded and we quietly walked downstairs making sure not to wake my mom or Ryder in the process, Paige turned the lights on in the kitchen and quickly grabbed the house keys before grabbing the case of oreos from the cupboard.

"Really Paige?" I whispered as she quietly walked back to the doorway. She shrugged as she put her shoes on, "Can't go to the party on a empty stomach." She whispered back and I rolled my eyes before opening the front door. We quickly walked into Summer's car and Paige sat in the back with her oreos while I sat in front with Summer.

She pulled out of the driveway and started driving in the direction Jonathan's house would be.

"Shae, when was the last time you've been to Jonathans?" Paige asked. I frowned and thought about it, "When Shawn and I were together."

August 13 2017

"Oh my gosh! Shawn hurry up!" I yelled from downstairs, tightening the laces on my shoes. I heard footsteps coming down the stairs and I looked up to see Shawn, carrying a bottle of rum.

I quickly grabbed the bottle and stuffed it into my purse, "Jesus Christ, Shawn. Do you know what my mom would do to us if she seen you carrying this?" I asked. He shrugged, "No but–"

"Carrying what Shae?"

Shawn and I both looked towards the top of the stairs and seen my mom standing there with her arms crossed.

Fuck.

I smiled sheepishly, pulling something out of my bag. I found the little can of mase I always kept in my bag and pulled it out for her to see, both her and Shawn's eyes widened.