'' Ah… yes, well, that can sometimes happen. Um, but, uh, the point is, uh, you can no longer feel any pain. And, very clearly, the bones are not broken.''
'' Spooky how the time flies when one’s having fun.''
'' Let me introduce you to your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher… me. Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five times winner of Witch Weekly’s Most Charming Smile Award. But I don’t talk about that; I didn’t get rid of the Banden Banshee by smiling at him.''
'' It really is quite filthy down here!''
'' Books can be misleading…''
'' Fame is a fickle friend Harry. Celebrity is as celebrity does. Remember that.''
'' Much more flexible, though.''
'' Let’s have a volunteer pair. Potter, Weasley, how about you?''
'' I’m afraid that’s my doing, Severus. You see, Harry was helping me answer my fan mail.''
'' My dear boy, do use your common sense! My books wouldn’t have sold half as well if people didn’t think *I’d* done all those things! ''
'' Harry, Harry, Harry. Can you possibly imagine a better way to serve detention, than by helping me to answer my fan mail?''
'' Yes, now you mention it. I’m rather gifted with Memory Charms. Otherwise, you see, all those wizards would have gone blabbing. And I’d never have sold another book.''
'' Professor Dumbledore has granted me permission to start this little dueling club, to train you all up, in case you ever need to defend yourselves, as I myself have done on countless occasions. For full details, see my published works.''
