Where You're Heading | (Peter) Han Jisung | Stray Kids

Strays

It was another day of high school for me, but it wasn't a normal day. For months it was rumored that a boy band with nine members was going to attend our large school in the middle of a small town, located in Korea. These boys were only trainees. They have only produced a few songs that I have checked out and listened to. Now, it wouldn't be a problem that these boys were attending our school. No, not a problem at all. Their music is actually pleasing to the ears and their rap line isn't all that bad, which is hard for most boy bands trying to make it to the top. But, it becomes a problem when the whole school is enthusiastic about their attendance, and it becomes a bigger problem when the only reason students are enthusiastic about these boys' arrival is because they're appealing to the eyes, attractive. Me on the other hand, I couldn't bother with it. Sure, it's exciting that there are new students attending our school, but I always keep to myself anyways and try to get through the day alone, avoiding conflict, drama, and any human interaction in general. I don't want to be at that school, nor do I even want to be in this small town. But you have to do what you have to do to get around and survive until you can walk on your own. 

Before heading out the door for another exhausting day of school, I grabbed a mug of tea and sipped it down. Mmm, tea, I thought to myself as I sipped the tea down, just like this day is going to be. Filled with TEA. I shook my head as I giggled to my stupidity. Finishing my tea, I grabbed my bag and headed out the door. My mother wasn't home, as usual, and I had already got my little sister up for school before I left. Now all there is left to do, is to get through this day. I sighed to myself as I had put my Bluetooth earbud into my ear, covering my ear with my hair so teachers would not bother me to take them out. I headed down the sidewalk with my BT21 Shooky pillow clenched in my arms. It was cold. Colder than usual because winter was hitting the surface. I started to play some BTS, which happened to be the biggest boy group worldwide at the moment. As I walked down the sidewalk I nodded my head to Seesaw by Min Yoongi, or Suga, a member of the boy group BTS. While I nodded to the song, with my sleepy eyes barely keeping awake, my mind wondered. It wondered to a place it normally wonders to when I get lost in the soothing sound of music. Why am I here? What am I even doing here? What's the purpose of even being here? I looked down at the tops of my shoes. My small ankle boots crunching against the icy pavement. I could feel my toes wiggling against the inside of my boots, trying to tell me that I'm still alive. The cold air pierced my thighs as I had on a skirt and knee high socks. I could feel the numbness of my legs, telling me I was still here. I sighed once again, what's the point in going to school when majority of this stuff I won't even use when I get out? I just want to lay in bed. Alone. In my room. Where I'm comfortable and happy. Where I can do the things I want without feeling like someone is breathing over my shoulder. Without any worries. Without the anxiety. Why am I like this?

What would normally be a 20 minute walk to school, ended up feeling like a minute walk due to the distraction inside my own head. I had hit the gates of the school. I tried to pay no attention to the students around me who were also walking onto the school campus, but my mind would not leave it to rest. You think they're looking? Oh my god, does my hair look okay!? Who am I kidding, I look disgusting no matter what. Am I walking weirdly? Don't bump into anyone!! My mind just kept ramming unnecessary comments and thoughts into the side of my head, casing my heart to race and my worries to rise. I tried to politely make my way through the crowd who were pushing through the large gates of the campus. I shifted and turned my body, dodging any in coming traffic. I was almost to the door entries of the school as I could see the large beautiful cherry blossom tree, that sprinkled with small specs of white flakes, sitting in the center of the courtyard. But sudden screams from many females could be heard over my music that was still playing in my ears. I tried to make my way to the door entries as I kept my head lowered, only glancing up to be able to see the direction I was going, but all I could see was billions of human foots running toward my direction. My panicking mind went wild, but I tried to keep it tame as the crowd got closer, eventually pushing past me, squishing me between their bodies as they tried to run through. As the crowd got larger and the free space around me began to close up, my heart began to race and it no longer felt cold, it felt like I was cooking in an oven. My attempt to get through the crowd was useless. I was stuck feeling closed in, hopeless, and worst of all, burning up. My body began to go into a panic state as all I wanted to do was slowly collapse to the floor, underneath all their foots, and curl in a small ball. What's going on!? Why are all these students freaking out!? Before my chest could close up any tighter a sense of relief hit me when I could hear teachers pulling students into the building and away from whatever commotion was going on. I almost felt free as the students began to piled into the school, clearing the area around me. I almost felt free, until once last student had to run past me like a jet on water, bumping into me, causing me to lose my balance. I tried to catch myself on the heels of my boots before I fell onto my back and caused embarrassment towards myself. Before I was able to gather my thoughts and catch my balance I could feel a small, warm hand press against my waist. My body was immediately pulled into the waist of an others. WHAT THE!? My cold pale skin was no longer cold nor was it no longer pale and my heart had continued at the rapid pace it was excelling at.