Love Under The Christmas Tree

Chapter 1

"Mommy, can I put the star on top of the Christmas tree please, please, please, please, please ?" my 7 year old daughter pleaded, looking at me expectantly with puppy dog eyes, her small hands folded as if she was praying while she jumped excitedly.

"Yes baby, just let me finish with the tinsel first okay ?" I responded, causing the biggest smile to appear on her adorable little face. 

"Thank you Mommy !" she happily exclaimed before throwing her little arms around my waist to hug me "I love you."

"I love you too sweetheart" I immediately replied, letting go of the endless tinsel I was desperately trying to hang properly to get down to her level and be able to hug her back.

My daughter is my everything, really. Despite my rather young age when I gave birth to her and the )asshole I'm sadly forced to call her father, there's nothing I regret. Emily gave me life, a real reason to be, something to hold on to. I may have done a lot of mistakes in my life already, but my little girl definitely isn't one. 

I met her father when I was still in high school. He was a tough kid and for some reason, he had all the girls head over heels for him, me included. I was a pretty serious student before he came out of nowhere and screwed everything up. The only thing I was interested in was graduating. I barely noticed the guys around me, whenever any of them would ask me out on a date, I turned them down because I simply didn't give a fuck about boys at that time. I had a lot of plans for my future and that was all that mattered to me. I wish it had stayed that way. 

Unfortunately, my state of mind radically changed the day that special kid asked me out. His bad boy look and attitude somehow lit some kind of fire inside me, and before I knew it, the shy and good girl I had always been was gone. I literally became someone else. I started smoking, drinking, doing drugs. The least you can say is that guy was bad influence, but I was so blinded by love that I couldn't even see it. He was my first real boyfriend, I was pure virgin when I met him. He gave me my first real kiss and he's the first guy I had sex with. I guess he had never heard of condoms though, because it didn't take him long to get me pregnant. 

My parents were beyond furious when they found out their 18 year old daughter was going to have a baby, but the worst part for them was the scum I was currently dating. They tried their hardest to open my eyes and convince me to dump him, respecting my decision to keep the baby and saying we would go through this all together. How I wish I had listened to them... but of course, the stupid girl I was back then didn't. I dropped school instead, and accepted to follow him when he suddenly decided to move to New York for 'special business', meaning dealing drugs with some dudes he knew. 

Emily's birth didn't change anything. He kept dealing, drinking, doing drugs and that's when I began realizing the mistake I had made by following him and leaving my familly behind. Having a child somehow made me wake up and I became myself again, that good and responsible girl, the real Monica, and I understood the guy I thought I loved was actually nothing but a fucker who had most likely never cared about me, and obviously didn't care about his own daughter either. I started considering leaving him, and I think I would've done it but the thing is, he didn't give me enough time to do so. One day, just like that, he was gone, and I never knew where he went. He literally vanished, but to be honest I don't give a shit. The only important thing to me is that I've been able to move on after this. Today I have a job, a roof over my head, and most importantly, my beautiful little girl. Nothing else matters. 

"Mommy ? MOMMY !!!?" her little voice snapped me out of my thoughts. 

"Hum ?" I briefly shook my head, forcing myself to come back to reality.

"I said : can you hang the tinsel now so I can finally put the star on top of the tree please ?" she sweetly reqested.

"Sure baby" I smiled, softly ruffling her hair.

♡♡♡

"Is your letter to Santa ready angel ?" I curiously questioned as I carefully tucked Emily under the warm covers.

"Yes, I finished writing it this morning" she answered, pointing to the envelope laying on the desk on the other side of her room. 

"Great. I'm gonna take it now and I'll send it tomorrow okay ? "

"Okay. You won't read it right ?"

"I won't baby. Santa will be the only one reading it" I assured her, trying to sound genuine. Of course I would read it, how else could I know what present to get her ?  

"Now go to sleep babygirl" I said, kissing her forehead before leaving the room and grabbing the letter as I walked past her desk. 

Making my way downstairs, I headed to the kitchen to prepare myself a cup of hot chocolate. It has always been my favorite drink, and it's about the only thing I still like about Christmas now. It somehow remembers me of the merry Christmases I used to spend with my parents when I was younger. How I would decorate the house and make cookies with my mom, and all those stuff that made Christmas time seem so special and magical. I used to really love it, but not anymore. There's absolutely nothing magical about Christmas, even if most people want to believe otherwise. The whole 'this is a special period where miracles can happen'  is crap. This happens in movies, not in real life.

Waiting for my hot chocolate to be ready, I decided to read my daughter's letter. Curious to discover what she wanted this year, I carefully opened the envelope and slowly unfolded the paper before starting to read.

Dear Santa,

My name is Emily and I am 7 years old. I live very far from North Pole, in New York, but you probably remember me from last year. You know, you brought me a very big pink pony last year. By the way, thank you for that.

I've been waiting a long time to write you this letter and I really have been trying to be nice all year. What I'd like you to bring me this year is not a new pony or a new doll. I don't need it. What I want for Christmas this year is a dad. I know my real dad is not a good dad so I was thinking maybe you could give me a new one ? Please Santa, it's not only for me. I know she says she doesn't but Mommy needs a husband too. I won't ask for anything else and I swear if you bring me a new dad, I will never ask for presents ever again.

I love you.

Emily.

I placed the letter on the countertop and sighed. She already asked me so many times why she didn't have a father like all the other kids in school, and I've always been honest with her. She knows her father left us when she was only a few weeks old, and she knows he won't come back. She seems to have understood that part, but she sadly hasn't given up the idea of having a dad. Well, she's still young, she'll get over it eventually. 

What saddens me the most though, is that she thinks I need a man in my life. I don't need anyone but her to be happy. My ultimate goal is being a good mother, nothing else. I'm not even remotely interested in that great love everybody dreams of that doesn't even exist. I don't trust men anymore, they're all the same. There's no Prince Charming, and I understood that a while ago. I've learned my lesson, I won't allow any other guy to break my heart or make me suffer in any way again. Christmas magic isn't the only crap society wants us to believe in, there's also love.

🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀

Hey guys 🙂

So I decided to come up with this new story because December (my favorite month)  is FINALLY here. Christmas has always been my favorite time of the year and I always get very excited around that time. Like, my house is fully decorated, I'm REALLY in the mood now. I've been watching so many Christmas movies this past few days that an idea popped into my head and I thought "I need to write it down". So here I am😂.

So this book is basically a Christmas story but with Johnny in it  (obviously😁). Hope you'll enjoy ! 🎅⛄🎄🎁