*JACK'S P.O.V*
A faggot. That is what they call me. 3 years after coming out, and I'm kind of used to it. Only kind of. Since the age of 11 I knew I wasn't the same as most other boys. They would be talking about how pretty Emma Watson was, or how the new girl in class had the loveliest smile, but I couldn't care less about a girl's smile. Not now, and not then.
At the age of 12 I met Mike. I was new in town, and this meant a new secondary school and quite frankly, I was shitting myself. (well, not literally.) This Mike person that I mentioned of was the first person I spoke to. He was in the year above and he DID have the loveliest smile, so didn't hesitate to ask for directions to my maths classroom. After that I'd see him around with his friends and long for him to notice me again.
At the age of 13, he did. I'd always been an avid story-writer and had just won a school short story competition. He saw me about and congratulated me and actually knew my name. First, and last name. He asked to hang out, and tried to set me up with his girlfriend's best friend. We went to the cinema. I sat next to Mike and this girl, Alisha. Whilst Alisha was infact very pretty, when she tried to hold my hand I had to kindly refuse. We never spoke again, and my connection with Mike grew weak. We only ever smiled at each other from then onwards.
When Mike and his girlfriend had both turned 16, they did the 'deed'. 2 days later, she dumped him. He chose to speak to me for support, and I was his shoulder to cry on. If we weren't round each others houses we were video-calling on skype or chatting on Facebook. On our 27th trip to the cinema together I held his hand, and as the movie's credits rolled onto the screen he whispered that he didn't want to let go. At the end of the movie we got the bus back to his and that was the day I had my first kiss. It was the first of many with the boy with the lovely smile.
When I myself turned 16 he announced that he was deeply in love with me. Never before had I felt so good about out myself and my differences compared to other boys. This boy had made me feel almost infinite, as if nothing mattered as long as we had each other. We were in love, and love was a feeling I never wanted to lose.
That was the year I came out. That was the year the bullying started and the self-hate came back. That was the year Mike died, suddenly and quickly. No goodbyes, no 'I love you' spoken again. That was the year I was overwhelmed with life, and self harm was my new partner in crime. That was the year I discovered Youtube-the thing that both saved me and ruined me.
~It's okay guys, Tyler comes into the next chapter..it feels a bit rushed on the last paragraph so it'll most likely be edited!!~
