Jessie Paige

Chapter one

(A/n I think the song kinda fits with this chapter ^)

-Jessie POV-

I'm, well different from most people at my school. I'm not in a 'groups' I find them quiet stupid actually, I struggle with depression, and well I don't really have friends either so I'm alone 99% of the time. But I like it that way, because this way I won't get attached to anybody &  people can't hurt me... I used to have friends when I was younger but as you can see they've left me.. Turned on me actually.. Humiliated me.. So after that I've decided not to get close to anyone.

8:30 PM

I check my phone for the 10th time, honestly I don't know why I never get notifications so it's pointless.. I set my phone back down on my desk and sigh.. I get out of my chair and go to my window, I open it and sit on the ledge & stare at the stars.. "I wonder, do you  feel pain?" I mumble not expecting an answer from anyone.. I sit here for another five minutes and decide I'm bored so I do what I've don't for years. Write. Yes I write.. Not stories.. No... I write in a journal..

   'What's the point of me staying alive? I'm not alive because I want to be no, I'm here for you.. I hate myself so much... I find myself running.. Running.. Always running.. But from what? Myself.. I never get anywhere tho I'm stuck.. "How are you?" They constantly ask me "I'm fine" that's what you want to here right? Even if I'm not I lie and put on a fake smile because it makes others happy.. It's so odd that it hurts so much. People who have it worse then me  live fine, People who are weaker then me carry on fine.. Nobody is weaker then I am.. Nobody has it worse then I  do'

-Next day-

5:56 AM

Still awake

I stare at the wall with a blank expression thoughts flooding my head.. "Shut up" I say but they continue to flow in "Shut up" "Shut up" "SHUT UP!" I  scream.. I break down crying "I can't take this anymore please just stop!" I cry. I pull my knees to my chest and start rocking back and fourth

8:05 AM

It was around 7:30 when I stopped crying.. Thoughts still flooding my head, I went to the only thing I can control in my life.. Self harm. I know I'm weak for doing this.. But its the only thing I have control of..

- Warning⚠ self harm-

I grab my razor off of my desk..
I pull my sleeve up.. I slide the razor across my scared wrist..
One cut..
Two cuts..
Three cuts..
Four..

blood drips down onto my desk.. Soon my whole arm is covered in blood..

I clean my arm & pull my sleeve down putting my razor back in its original spot..

-Part over-
 
I decide to go out today so I slip on my shoes and quietly walk downstairs hoping that no one in the house is awake, and I was correct it's Saturday so of course no one is awake this early. I successfully sneak out of the house and just walk. Do I know where I'm going? No.. I don't really have a destination.. I just can't be in that house anymore.. So I walk.

(That's the end of the first chapter  ik its short but the chapters will grt longer I promise.. Thanks for reading!!)