Breaking Their Hold -synacky-

Two

I woke up with a loud, almost high-pitched groan, almost a whine, my head rolling around a little. I tried to open my eyes but the bright lights above me invaded my eyes and I snapped them shut, tears stinging behind them. My head hurt so much. I shifted my left arm up and slid my hand behind my head, clutching at the part that was throbbing, only to find it was swollen and, apparently, bleeding. I winced as I pressed on it and then leant my head back on the floor, my temple against what I assumed was concrete or something similar. I could feel my breathing starting to pick up in confusion and fear as to where I was, and why the fuck my head was bruised and bleeding, but I couldn't open my eyes because they hurt so much.

I lay still for a few seconds, whimpering softly and whispering incoherently to myself, telling myself not to think too hard, that I was fine, I just fell over. That's all. I'd be okay in a minute or two.

But it was at least another five minutes before I managed to get a grip on myself, and even then my breath wasn't too far from irregular. I could think straight, but that was as close to feeling normal as I could get.

I closed my eyes again, the pain in my head starting to ebb into my temples and surrounding my eyes, making opening them rather painful. But the fear was hard at work, eating away at my throbbing brain. I had to find out where I was before I started freaking out. Okay, too late, I thought to myself. I was already on track for a full-blown panic attack.

I wriggled around slightly, trying to push myself upwards on my left arm several times before I gathered the strength to finally do it. I kept my eyes tightly closed, sliding my forearm along the floor until I managed to push myself up on my hand. I groaned as I did so, feeling the strange sensation of pins and needles take over the left side of my body.

I removed my right hand from my head and rubbed my still-closed eyes, before slowly opening them.

I blinked hard a few times, grimacing and wincing as the harsh light once again invaded my vision and momentarily blinded me. My head continued to throb even harder as I tried to keep my eyes open, and as soon as I managed to see clearly I let out a loud, frightened whimper.

The floor, and walls, were concrete, and the ceiling appeared to be too. There was nothing in the room with me, literally nothing, apart from a bare lightbulb dangling from the ceiling.

I could see no windows, automatically causing claustrophobia to wash over me in strong, and almost paralyzing, waves. I whimpered again, cringing into myself and half-burying my face in my hands.

Where was I? Where the fuck was I? Why the fuck was I here?

Moments later, as my small panic attack started to grow more intense, I felt tears pricking the corners of my eyes. I allowed them to run, and a choked sob escaped my throat along with the onslaught of tears. I'm always the one to act calm, and macho, but I was, officially, scared. Scared shitless, in fact. Who wouldn't be?

I leaned back against the wall, groaning yet again as my bruised head made contact with the concrete, and continued to cry, not only in pain but with near-paralysing fear. It was one of those moments where you start fearing the worst, but don't want to assume it. I felt claustrophobia surround me, smothering me, and eventually I found myself gasping for air. My sobs and cries weren't helping much, either.

Calm down, Zack, I told myself. You're gonna be okay, just relax... Pfft, relax.

I pulled my hoodie closer around me, crying into it in a feeble attempt to calm the tears. But it didn't help at all, only made it worse. I couldn't think straight, my mind wasn't in touch with my body. It was wandering, filling itself with old memories and combining all my irrational and deepest fears into a terrifying montage that made me hesitant to close my eyes.