If Only I could

Chapter 1: The news

     After an excruciating long day at school I finally boarded the bus. I walked to the end of the aisle and sat in the one-seater hoping no one would mind me sitting here. I swung my backpack from my back onto my lap. I grabbed my phone from the inside and turned it on. I had five missed calls from my mom. I proceeded to call her, but it led straight to voicemail. 

Mom would only call this many times if it were an emergency.

     I thought to myself as the bus started up and we exited the school grounds. It was a Friday and I didn't have any homework besides studying for an exam that was  on the next Tuesday. I looked out the window to see all the trees and houses whizzing by at a fast rate. I reached for my phone again and called my mom again, no answer. I didn't know what was happening, but I had a feeling I would know soon enough. We stopped at the first bus stop and a bunch of kids got up and got off. I bounced my leg up and down wishing the bus ride would go faster. The bus drove on for another couple of seconds before stopping yet again. Another group of kids walked off, but one had the window seat so it took her a lot longer because she had to squeeze through someone. 

     Finally, the bus arrived at my bus stop. I scrambled for my stuff and and rushed down the aisle. I quickly told the driver to have a nice day and I hopped off the bus. The chilly fall air nipped at my face, but I didn't let it bother me. I was to busy running home glancing at my phone every once in a while to see if I got a call or a text, but I didn't get either. When I got home I jogged up my driveway and opened the door. It was unlocked surprisingly. I walked in and saw my mom on the couch with her head in her hands, I looked around the room, but didn't see my little brother, Cooper. "Mom, where's Cooper?" I asked as I sunk in the seat next to her rubbing her back. "Oh Jamie!" She cried and she went into a sobbing frenzy. "Mom, What's wrong?" I said panic rising in my throat. "Jamie, h-he got kidnapped!" She kept crying while I was in shock. 

Kidnapped? No it can't be. He left before me. Right? 

     Then I remembered being annoyed with him for some stupid reason and storming out the door. I remembered not locking my door on the way out because I was too mad to do so. His kidnapping was my fault. I shook my head in disbelief. "It's my fault." I said quietly and tears welled in my eyes. "What?" My mom said her face twisting slightly with confusion. "It's my fault." I said a little louder this time enough for me to choke up on my words. I choked out a sob, "I left the door unlocked because I was mad and I left him here alone! Mom I- i'm I-I didn't mean to."  I said as I cried. I looked at her and her eyes had pure fire in them,  "You what!? How could you?! That was my baby!" She said no longer crying she shoved me off the couch and I fell to the floor with a thud. "Mom please, please. I'm sorry." I cried as she stood up and yelled spit flying from her mouth, "GET OUT! NOW! I don't wanna hear anything from you again! You killed my baby boy!" she said. "You don't even know if he's dead yet there still could be hope." I said hoping I didn't have to leave. "Hope my ass! He's dead D E A D dead you hear me?!" She sat down and cried again and I scrambled on the ground I got up, grabbed a hoodie from the coat rack. and left the house. I still had my backpack on and my phone in my hand so I could contact someone.  I dialed my aunt's phone number. She immediately picked up the phone, "Jamie I heard the news are you alright?" "Yeah, but it was my fault." there was a silence ushering me to go on, "I left the door unlocked and and I guess someone got in or something and mom screamed at me and told me to get out. What do I do Jenny?" I asked as I broke down again. "Oh hon, I'm coming to pick you up stay there." she said and I mumbled an okay. 

A/N I am so sorry if this isn't a good chapter it's my first one. The chapters with get better with time, but as of right now they aren't that good. But I hope it was okay enough.  If there are any mistakes please tell me I would be happy to fix them. 

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~Bella 12-2-18