Why me?

My Fault

                  *Jayce above*
So I have a pretty fucked life. I've been to hell and believe I'm currently living it. I've had my fair share of relationships from psychopaths to fucken perky and preppy. Don't forget the player types and the awfully loyal and in between. I've decided to give up on relationships I mean they seem pointless adding onto the fact that I'm always let down in the end. I couldn't take the violence nor abuse no more. I stay hidden at all costs. I like to keep a low profile. But if it comes to a severe situation I won't think twice before I fight back. I always keep a knife in my pocket and a dagger in my boot so please try to do your worst. But if i have a choice I'll avoid the violence. I feel that everything bad that happens to me I fully deserve. I still can't get over the fact i killed my brother and will never forgive myself for it. I stay anywhere that's abandon the one I'm staying at now is 2 miles from school and their is a bus stop less than a block away. I'm trying my best to keep my sanity and to stay composed for months. I mean yeah I'm still a Junior in high school but I've had my fair share of fucked up shity events happen In my life. I am passing all classes I focus on my schoolwork because of how antisocial I am. I haven't gotten a single tardy to a class or school ever. I habe been asked to join some extracurricular activities but i turned them down because I like the time to myself to draw, write, or listening to my music. Most the time I'm talking to my dead brother Gabe. Yes I have hallucinations its because of my past events. But I've done plenty of terrible things like murdering my brother Gabe who was 15. I was 10 years old. Then I stabbed my father because he was raising his voice and acting like he was about to beat me. I also bit and pepper sprayed my mom she was pissed. That was kinda the breaking point they threw me out after that at 13. To be honest that's a pretty long time I'm surprised they didn't throw me out after Gabe's incident. I had 2 friends before the incident occurred Neil (dirty blonde hair with hazel eyes.) Neil is the punk ass quarterback at school. Mr.Popular yippy kai yay. Then their was Tiffany (orange hair green eyes very petite.) Queen of the bitches aka Nancy and Candy the Barbie twins. Barf! Neil and Tiffany abandon me when i needed them most. They said they didn't wanna be friends with a murderer. Plus the lead of the bitches currently then was Lacey but I may have killed her too.