Love Kills

Every child at one point in there lives wants to be a hero, they want to protect and save people, receiving glory and pride that no mere normal job can achieve them. However there is a consequence to every action. Yes hero's save, but they also kill. the hidden prize along with fame and glory is guilt, pure unadulterated guilt and no matter how many people they have saved they will always have that guilt.

i stand now in the middle of the forest, not far from where the place i once called home is, my parents still live there hoping one day there missing daughter will return to them, however my return is highly unlikely.

i stare down at the ground beneath me, breathing in the sweet air around me, closing my eyes and watching the images of that night dance behind my eyelids. i smile unlike then when all i could do was cry.

i remember staring down at the mound of newly disturbed earth beneath my bare swollen, sodden feet, in the same spot i now stand however it is now overgrown with thick weeds , how ironic. My body was trembling, resurfacing the events of that night, lodged inside my mind, permanently stained on my icy cold skin. I felt so numb that the rain hitting my skin simply rolled off cascading to the ground, causing me no irritation and the wind was not what brought me to wrap myself deeper inside my strangers blanket. It was in fact her, the intense stares from my strange new protector that caused my stomach to become unsettled, that of course and the body that now lies 6 feet beneath me.

i reminse about my protector, her name was Eva, and she was the most amazing woman i had ever met, and for the ten years i spent with her i always felt safe.

i always wondered why I had ended up in that situation that night, I had done nothing significantly awful in my life to deserve such an outcome to what started out as a seeming normal, not un-ordinary evening, But now i wonder how i managed to deserve her what fantastically brilliant thing did i do to have her brought into my life.

i was always a extremely self absorbed teenager. i had time for no one yet everyone had time for me. I was so sure of myself until that night where my beauty betrayed me.

It was about 11:30 at night i was on my way back from a party, i was stumbling my way down the path through the woods about 20 minutes away from home, the wind was so strong, and with my slight intoxication i could hardly walk in my stilettos, my vision was compromised by my unruly blonde hair wafting in front of my already alcohol hazed eyes.

Thinking about it now, what i was wearing that night hardly helped me, in fact it more than likely intrigued my attacker, a bright shining red beacon, summoning him toward me.

i was halfway down the path when I heard a noise, the snapping of twigs caught me by surprise, I squinted into the darkness but all I could see were trees towering over me, casting a dark shadow across the stone path in front of me. I decided to pick up my pace as the heavens opened and the rain poured down around me. he came almost out of nowhere stepping in front of me, blocking my path with his large, muscled body.

As he advanced toward me, I quickly turned on my heals and ran into the trees for cover. It seemed like I had been running forever when I no longer heard my assailants heavy footfalls behind me.

Before i even had a chance to catch my breath, I was shoved hard against the ground, my first thought was for the intense pain my body had suddenly been thrown into, i then lifted my head to find i was being held down. My attacker was not what i had been expecting. His brown hair hung down on his face in small ringlets, his eyes were a warm welcoming chocolate yet full of hate and angry. I did not know this man and yet he clung onto my arms as if i was highly important to him yet in what way i did not know yet.

As he pushed his body against me i knew what was coming, the smell of sweat and dirty swirled around me causing me to feel nauseous, and before i knew it i had been consumed into a dark blurry haze, and everything went black.

There is not much i can remember from that night, only bits and pieces that continue to flash up every now and then, and although Eva saw it all she always refused to divulge the details as she was highly concerned that it may drag up unnecessary pain.

She always did look after me. Ever since that night Eva was almost like a mother to me, almost being the operative word. Until 5 months ago when our late night activity took a wrong turn and Eva wound up lying on the cold floor, in the freezing night air with 5 bullet holes in her chest.

You see me and Eva never did have normal hobbies, we liked to kill and we did it more often than you would think and got away with it every time.

However i didn't really get involved with the killing and for the life of me can never remember seeing Eva make a single move, she was damn good at what she did. If it wasn't for Eva i would have died that night.

I awoke abruptly in a clouded daze as i looked up to find a strange woman looking down on me with concerned eyes. Her emerald iris piercing down at me in an almost fear. It took me longer than it should have to notice the body that lay in front of me. I recognized the victim immediately my attacker now in the dirt where he belonged, his warming eyes were now no longer filled with heat but left empty and cold. Eva then tied back her shining platinum hair and began to dig.

This spot where i now stand is where we made our first shared kill, and although i have and always will have the guilt, Eva didn't see it as an evil act which was in need of remorse. She only saw it as the moment we founded our friendship and she never refereed to it in any other way.

That's why i choose this spot, the exact patch of earth to spread my dear friends ashes. So here she will always be in the place that we first met. Her ashes purifying the earth below, erasing all other memories of this place and leaving only her. Forever.