Love Yourself

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"I was only 11 when I began my training. I was eager and excited, my mind conjuring scenarios of being able to perform on stages like MNET and Inkigaiyo." Aura shifted the mic from her left to her right hand, the unused hand moving into her denim pockets, her heeled boots clicking on the stage. She faced the large group that came to her sort of 'seminar' that was hosted by UNICEF.

Originally, Namjoon was the one to make a speech and host the seminar but he had the brilliant idea of making Aura do it instead for a reason unknown to the older female.

She there she was, on a stage, trying to spread the message about loving yourself.

"For a whiwle, I was a happy pill, never once having a negative thought, training giving me a sort of energy I never had." She sighed. "But then, the monthly evaluations came to play, and with my teenage age, their 'constructive criticism' got to me."

"I began to think that I wasn't good enough, that no matter what I do, it wouldn't matter because I simply wasn't good enough to do it."

"When the years grew on, I grew older too. I watched as my friends that I trained with, debuted and lived the dream that I had so foolishly created while I struggled to even earn money for a single ramen cup." Aura smiled sadly, watching the crowd's emotions. "It hurt, it really did. As the time for my debut grew longer, i began to question. What's keeping them so long from debuting me? Was I that bad and unimproving?"

"So I trained harder, worked harder, did whatever I did better. But in my head, it was all the same. I made no improvement. I was the same as when J first started."

"Our recent comebacks have been around the theme of 'Loving Yourself' but how can I spread such a message," Aura spoke, gestering to the crowd. "When I don't love myself?"

"I remember meeting Jin and Namjoon for the first time. It was just outside YG Building and I had tripped over Namjoon. He and I both scraped our knees and hands so Jin took us back to their dorms where he patched us up." Aura chuckled at the memory. "I told them about how J was kicked out for not suiting a girl group or boy group concept despite my 11 year training and they told me, in return, about the HIT IT AUDITIONS."

"I can't thank them enough, really. It was because of them, I was able to, even though it took a lot of time, little by little, I was able to finally love myself."

"There are days where I feel like i'm scum of the earth but then I have my members to tell me otherwise, and truly, I couldn't be any more thankful for them."

"It'll take time, and a little persuasion. But little by little, slow step by slow step, you'll find that you're able to love the little things about you."

"It's hard, of course it is, nothing's ever easy."

"But trust me, acceptance is key to recovery."

Aura Kim of BTS | 8th Member Imagine | ✔️Where stories live. Discover now