Losing Herself

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"What are you doing here? "

She didn't expect him. Her tired eyes scanned the messy living room searching for traces of his visit. The atmosphere in the tiny room was heavy. Her breathing unsteady, her feet trembling because of the heavy bags in her hands and the torturously black high heels she had to wear to work.

"I told you to stay away from me, Jack. I don't want you here. Not anymore."
She was wondering why he still had the keys to her apartment. Hadn't she made sure to get rid of him? To get him out of her head and life. She hadn't managed yet.
"I'm sorry Caty. I had to see you. "
He was still seated on the couch. His legs spread and body leaned forward, gaze piercing through her soul.

She dropped the bags on the cold floor and made her way to the kitchen. After turning the coffee machine on thoughtfully, she turned her head to him.

His handsome face caught her off guard when emerging from the shadows into the dim light coming from the street lamps.
His golden skin was still flawless, but dark circles under his eyes blemished his striking beautiful appearance. His eyes had lost their shine and he looked like he hadn't slept for days.
His curly brown hair was put up in a messy pony tail instead of the luscious curls falling onto his shoulders.

"What happened?"
He made two fast steps into her direction until he was centimeters away from her. But she couldn't move. Her thoughts were running wild but she couldn't bring herself to take a step back. His smell hit her like a slap in the face.
He tilted his head and took her chin to raise her gaze.

"Look at me Catherine. Please look at me."
And finally, she did.
His eyes were filled with so much sorrow and sadness that she almost hugged him then and there.

But then she remembered the strange feminin parfume mixed with the smell of sex when coming home early that day. Red lingerie on the white carpet.

She never wore red lingerie.

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