mutism

Anxiety & mutism

Ever since I was a young child i had sever Anxiety issues, it was impossible to get a decent job especially with Mutism , i had problems with speaking with others , this especially broke my heart because i truly loved music i wanted to be on stage like the idols but i couldn't there was always anxiety and mutism dragging me and my dreams down but this didn't stop me from writing music . 

you Really need a job my close friend told me ,  i puffed out my cheeks with a frown and wrote on the paper with my fragile hands "i can't do it ! how am i supposed be able to do this when i can't speak when i need to ??"   she grabbed the paper from hands i rested my head on my hands as she said "aww jee-ah~ you need to chin up because i may just have a perfect job for you ! "what!!" I quickly wrote on the paper the small quite words came out of my mouth "w-w-what -is -ii-it ?...." my friend (Mi-sun) smiled "aww i knew i could get you to talk " she uwu'd "the job is a very special with a lot of pretty boys called BTS , your good at makeup unie !! " i froze in place "Are you k-kiding me?? i-i can't speak around o-others with out s-sounding like i'm  d-dumb !? "ahhh don't worry i can easily get you  in, so go get ready now " she said as she forced me into my room to get changed are you kidding me i thought .

As I and Mi-sun walked into big hit building i felt so excited this is where music lives if i didn't have selective mutism i'd be here for auditions! Mi-sun could see the happiness on my face as i looked around "oooh you're excited because of the music aren't you ?"she smiled with a little giggled i bumped her shoulder and silently said "yahh~" i saw a younger boy look at me in awe and curiosity, as he saw how tiny and quite i, was compared to others, he was really handsome compared to other boys he caught my eye  .

"now you wait here jee, I'm going to speak to pd-nim ok?" i nodded my head in reply, i quietly stood in quite as i watched others speaking normally with ease it always had amazed me ever since I was a young child, all the sudden a young woman came up to me aggressively saying "excuse me , what are you here for ? are you waiting for someone or are you going to be standing there dumb and pretty " the rude lady spat I was obviously nervous and upset by her actions I couldn't get the words out  " so it stands there and be dumb and pretty, your not as pretty as you think you are but your certainly as dumb as you loo-... HEY! what are you doing ? "  a beautiful young man i saw before stood in front of me in anger he said "how dare you treat her like this? where's your respect? go back to doing what you're told to do " he spat  "sorry jeon" she said with a bow ...

"are you ok!? , she was very rude ?!" the beautiful man said in worry with a bow, I looked down shyly I tried to say something but I couldn't , I was so embarrassed as I felt the anxiety hit the bottom of my stomach, I mentally sighed as I disappointedly slipped a tiny piece of paper in his hand his eyes widened but soon grew into a smile he read the words and spoke them quietly  "i have mutism...sorry <3"  , he folded the note i gave him and said  "i was wondering why you were so quiet, if you need anything I can help you around " he bowed with a kind smile I couldn't stop smiling no one has been this accepting towards me about this before this was a new feeling, the first time someone wasn't teased or bullied me for being mute .

I pulled out my phone and wrote in notes "thank you for being so kind ! , I'm here to be and make up artist my friend Mi-sun forced me a little but it's a good thing !" I handed the phone over with the cutest and happiest smile he had ever seen before, he smiled back in complete awe he read my messege with a smile "really ! that is so cool, everyone will be very happy to have new staff here! hopefully, you're my make up artist!?" I thanked him throw my phone but before I gave it to him he was called to attend training, " ohhh, i have to go to training I will see you later, good luck" I bowed to him as a thank you and goodbye.

I didn't catch his name i thought, "JEE!" mi-sun said loudly" pd-nim wants to see you !" "d-d-does he knows about my problem?" "of crouse he does, his fine with it trust me, " she said with a smile!     I walked into my room and bowed " ahh , hello jee were very happy to have you working here were in desperate need of and artist come to sit down " he said cheerfully, he seems so nice I thought, I smiled as I sat down he placed a paper and pen in front of me , "so jee!! here's your work badge ! do you mind if I and Mi-sun show you to your workplace ?" I wrote on the paper "I'm more than happy to !".I, pd-nim and Mi-sun walked to meet the boys in the makeup studio, this is now my future I was so nervous, pd-min opened the door to 7 beautiful boys but the same boy caught my eye ,they all got up to great me, oh no I thought i-i can't talk i thought umm...... "don't worry they understand "MI-sun asurred me " nice to meet you a short boy said kindly " i bowed in worry i was so scared i started top mingle with all the boys they all wanted to talk to me it was so exsauting .

the boy I was speaking to earlier on came up to me i waved to him with a smile "hello, nice to meet you again" he laughthed and smiled i silently laughed i handed other my message to him "I didn't catch your name earlier !?" ..."My name is jeon jungkook , but you can call me jungkook i smiled at him more " i wonder who I'm going to be assigned to " i wrote " ahh i have a good feeling it will be me " he chuckled "ahh , jee! your going to be assigned to , what does it say here oh! jeon jungkook! " pd-min smiled I bowed to give my thank yous "now we will all see you at work tomorrow here is your timetable make sure to be here around 6:30 Am " i nodded my head as yes i was heading out of the door "JEE! can I ask you something?...."

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i hope you enjoyed this guys! sorry if it was boring! i promise it will get more interesting