Watermelons and Skies

16

Yoongi's POV

With my right hand covering my eyes, my body rested on the couch inside our hotel room. My breathing a little unstable,  something I have been suffering lately after Jisoo and I had broken up. And of course, I knew why.

Anxiety, it's starting to succumb within me. And none of my members noticed. At least for now.

This isn't new to me anyway. Ever since I am someone who had suffered from depression and anxiety and has been vocal about it. And in my whole existence, the only times I pretended I was okay were the times when she's no longer mine.

The first time, I thought it broke me. I thought I lost myself. The days were suffocating. Everything felt so dull and black.

If not for the boys, my family, and our fans, I'm not even sure how I was able to survive each day without breaking down.

But just when I thought the first time was the hardest, the second time hit me more like a load of truck.

It's a fucking slap in the face, with a fucking hammer and a surfboard.

It's killing me. If I'm actually still alive.

It's been what, days, weeks, months... I don't know. I stopped counting after the first two weeks. We're currently out of the country for our concert.

My heart ached at the memory of her face. The last time I saw her was at the University festival when I deliberately broke her heart.

Fuck.

I did it. It was me. Of all people. It was me who made her cry.

"Who were you texting? Ahuh, Jeon Jungkook!" I heard Taehyung chuckle, him, and Jungkook bickering with each other.

"Tsk, as if you aren't texting someone. It's Jennie, isn't it?" the younger one teased and I removed the hand covering my eyes to see the two.

Taehyung's cheeks were red as he playfully hit Jungkook. "Yah! We're not texting. I should tell Lisa to pester you again. She's gone mellow lately," he added and I can't help but smile a little.

If it wasn't for them, I don't know how I can survive this day.

My brothers, they were a breath of fresh air.

"Hyung! What are you cooking?" Namjoon yelled and not long after, Jin hyung answered.

"Something edible!"

Hoseok laughed at Jin hyung's response.

"And he's the eldest," Hoseok muttered.

Soon enough, the boys started talking about things, and again, I casually spaced out.

They thought I was sleeping most times but the truth is, I was only thinking.

Thinking about "what ifs". If things weren't as complicated as it is, will it make a difference if I made a different decision?

But everything is for her.

Everything...

"Are you sure you're okay?" I heard Hoseok ask Jimin once again and I can't help but listen.

I didn't hear his response but I was sure he nodded. Like what he had been doing for the nth time.

A long sigh escaped my lips.

From where I was, I stare at the young man before me. It was obvious that he looked so stressed despite his continuous denial that he's not okay.

A long sigh escaped Jimin's lips. I shake my head in frustration.

Nobody knew from our members but I do. I knew Jimin and Chaeyoung's secret.

"I trust her. She would tell me if she need help. And if ever I think there is a need to intervene, I would. But now, I chose to trust her." he muttered while staring at his phone.

Somehow, I feel so bad because I haven't check on him and Chaeyoung lately. Caught up with my own loneliness and sorrow, I forgot that Jimin can't really share his problems with the others now since they don't know what's happening.

"Do you wanna go and check on her?" I offered and he looked startled for a moment. I can't blame him. Like me knowing of his secret,  only he and Chaeyoung knew about my relationship with Jisoo.

He looked conflicted for a moment but decided otherwise.

"Chaey and I agreed not to see each other in the meantime. She doesn't even send me messages," he whispered and that's more than enough for me to get up from my slumber.

"Why?" I asked,  my voice stern. Somehow, I feel like there is something he is hiding from us. And I'm sure I wouldn't like it.

I watch as he scratches the back of his head, nervousness visible on his state. I don't care if I sounded harsh.

By this time, I knew we've caught everyone's attention.

"Ah,  just..." his eyes were anywhere but mine. And right then I knew he's hiding something.

"Park Jimin!" I growled.

"Hyung," Namjoon interjected, probably sensing the danger on my voice.

"If this is what I think it is, I think we need to go back to Korea. I didn't sacrifice this much so you two would end up like this." I spat before I moved towards my room.

My chest is weaving in anger.

I kicked my luggage in full force before sitting rather forcefully on my bed.

Jimin...

Chaeyoung...

Jisoo...

Everything is a mess.

And I can't do anything about it.