Ashes to Ashes (Alternative Ending)

Lillia

I'm still in a daze when the ambulance picks us up. Everything is a blur when the EMT has to pull me away from Reeve, when my mother arrives at the hospital sobbing and engulfs me in her arms. From the corner of my eye, I see Kat's brother and her dad running down the aisle to reach her. Her cries pierce through the heavy silence. And Reeve...I don't hear him at all. I remember the last time I was here, when he...broke his leg, and it becomes hard to breathe. This is so, so much worse than just a broken bone. Someone tells me to sit down, hands me a glass of water. But there's no air in here. I can't breathe. I can't... And then someone is there, holding my hand, whispering gently that it's going to be okay, that Reeve is okay, that I am okay. Nadia.

I lean my head against my sister and cry.

The smoke doesn't clear until weeks later. I know I should be relieved that we're free, that Mary found her peace at last. But I think in some ways, freedom comes at a higher cost than revenge. I've only been to the hospital twice to see how Reeve was doing. The first time, he wasn't conscious. The sound of his heartbeat was more of a comfort than anything else. The second, a nurse called and said he'd been murmuring my name. I stopped behind his door, peering through the window, my hand poised to turn the knob. But I couldn't stay a minute longer when I saw his arms.

Most of my days and Kat's have been filled with trying to regain some semblance of normalcy. If that's even possible. We've been at each other's houses almost every day talking, occasionally laughing. Given the circumstances, Jar Island High is letting us miss this last month of school. I'm working on an English assignment when my phone buzzes. I don't check to see if it's Kat or Alex or...the hospital. My gut twists as I think about Reeve again. He needed twenty stitches in each wrist. But he's alive. And we're...not over yet. Still, I can't bring myself to see him now. I know I've hurt him, Mary or not. His arms are proof of that.

And despite the aching in my heart, I stop calling Jar Island Medical to ask when he'll be leaving the hospital.

Since for me, this May has turned into summer, I'm at the beach alone. A few kids play in the surf, the occasional couple sitting beneath an umbrella. The sun seems way too bright for this island. Its rays strike the skin exposed by my cobalt blue bikini - the one that of course promptly reminded me of the prom dress I bought with Reeve. With a sigh, I lie back on my towel and close my eyes. It's strange having this quiet. Kat just told me she's planning to take a gap year this fall. I hope she goes to California with Alex. They're good for each other, all romance aside. While I'm at BC, I just want to know they're both okay. I know we'll stay in touch - with all that we've been through. And Reeve.... I don't let myself think about Reeve. Even as I remember his promise, even knowing that he could be in Connecticut just a few hours away. I can't.

So I'm lying there, listening to the waves, when suddenly I hear it.

"Hey Cho."

My eyes fly open.

....

His tall figure strides toward me, hair tousled by the sea breeze, signature smirk forming on his face. Reeve. For a moment, all I can do is stare. But then my legs are moving on their own accord, and before I know what I'm doing, I'm running the distance between us straight into his embrace.

"Reeve," I breathe softly.

His arms wrap around me, scars visible, but faint. I pull away slightly.

"Lillia, I..."

The smirk has disappeared and in its place is an unsure expression. He seems at loss for words.

My mouth opens instead. Even if he came here to end this, I know I owe him an apology. I owe him something.

"I'm sorry I stopped visiting...I couldn't...Mary had threatened to hurt you and I let her, and I can't ask you to forgive me for that. I was responsible for you injuring your leg and now you almost lost your life and I can't expect you to want -"

"Lillia, stop." Reeve holds a hand to my mouth. His skin feels warm, hand slightly calloused.

Grasping my face gently he says, "Look at me. You have nothing to apologize for. I'm okay. Really, I am okay. And this was never your fault. I deserved whatever revenge Mary had planned for me-"

Reeve silences my protest.

"I did. I was responsible for hurting her so badly that she saw her death as the only escape. And the fact that you've seen that darkest part of me and still..."

He runs a hand through his hair.

"I don't deserve you Lillia Cho. Hell, you swam to Jar Island to stop Mary from hurting your friend. And you saved my life from a ghost dead-set on ending it. I know you may not believe it, but I am not going to stop loving you because of this-"

Reeve holds out his arms. I wince.

He seems to notice. I watch his green eyes glaze slightly, his shoulders starting to turn.

"But I understand if you don't - "

I grab his arm, and place a light kiss on his scar.

"No", I whisper, "I love you."

And then his lips are crashing into mine, and I'm not drowning. I'm soaring. We stumble towards the water, waves lapping at our knees as his arms wrap around my waist. My hands are tangled in his hair, lost in the eyes of the boy who taught me how to swim. I'm smiling at the sun shining down on us, Reeve's lips tasting like the ocean.

I glance over Reeve's shoulder, and I swear I see Mary for a moment. I blink and she's gone. But glimmering there in the sun, watching us, I realize she looked almost...happy.