Chandler Bing: My Roommate

Chapter I - The One Where I Got a New Roommate

Taken from The One With The Flashback (EP03xSE06)

I was looking for a new roommate. The rent was expensive enough for a single resident. College times, when Ross was my roommate, ran out and I was alone. I had another roommate, Kip, who was also the roommate before Joey. Kip and Monica dated. Both Jews, they had everything for this relationship to work out, but they broke up. We all promised him to remain friends, but sort of knocked him out of the gang. He's gone and today he's married. So it all started when...

I was walking into Monica's apartment to talk to Ross and Phoebe who were there.

"Hey", I greeted Phoebe and Ross as I got into Monica's apartament.

"Hey", Ross answered.

"I'm never gonna find a roommate, ever", I was despondent.

"Why? Nobody good?", asked Phoebe.

"Well let's see, there was the guy with the ferrets, that's plural. The spitter. Oh-ho, and yes, the guy that enjoyed my name so much he felt the need to make a little noise every time he said it", I said and I started to imitate the guy making the sound effect by repeating Bing. "'Nice to meet you, Chandler Bing (Bing!)', 'Great apartment, Chandler Bing (Bing!)'."

"So how many more do you have tomorrow?", Ross asked.

"Two. This photographer, who seemed really dull. And this actor guy, who I'm not sure about, because when he called and I answered the phone 'Chandler Bing,' he said 'Whoa-whoa, short message.'"

Well, something was not mentioned before about roommate: Phoebe was Monica's roommate before Rachel. But Phoebe was moving slowly, she could no longer live with Monica, because Monica was bossy. So Phoebe went to live with her grandmother.

"Ross, foot on the floor or come over no more!" Monica rebuked Ross as soon as she had just returned from the laundry.

"Sure, your dresser is missing but this she notices", Ross said sarcastically to Phoebe.

"What?" Monica asked, not quite understanding because she was distracted and distant.

"I have to go", Ross would reply smiling and a little suspicious that he would almost tattle on Phoebe to Monica. "Yeah, Carol should be home by now, sooo..."

"Umm, how's it going with you guys?", I asked.

"Oh, better, actually. Y'know I-I-I think I finally figured out why we were having so much trouble lately."

"Oh, really?", said Phoebe.

"Yeah, y'know how I have you guys, well she doesn't really have any close friends that are just hers, but last week she meet this woman at the gym, Susan something, and they really hit it off, and I-I-I think it's gonna make a difference", Ross was happy about it.

Well, it's a shame Ross would not have thought Carol was a lesbian, and she and Susan were lovers. But turning the focus on me, continuing, the next day I was talking to the photographer.

"Soo, ah, Eric, what kind of photography do ya do?"

"Oh, mostly fashion, so there may be models here from time to time, I hope that's cool", he answered.

"Yes, that is cool. Because I have models here y'know... never."

"Oh, yeah, during the summer, I spend most weekends at my sister's beach house, which you are welcome to use by the way. Although, I should probably tell you, she's a porn star."