Chandler Bing: My Roommate

Chapter VI - The One Where Eddie Won't Go

Taken from episode 19 of season 2.

I knew I couldn't handle living with Eddie because he's in his little world. I wanted someone active living with me, to always talk, watch programs with me or play foosball. Eddie wasn't that person. This was the reason that made me miss Joey. Too much! I commented to Phoebe about Eddie not being a fan of foosball.

"Uh oh, ooh, are we not getting along with the new boy? "

"No he's, he's all right, just uh, he spends most of his time in his room."

"Maybe that's because you haven't taken the time to get to know him."

Phoebe took the tennis ball from my hand and bounced it against his door. He went out and asked what that was, but Phoebe already had her idea in mind and invited him to join us, have a beer and talk to get to know him better.

"Yeah alright, that sounds alright," Eddie said.

"Oh, good! Okay," Phoebe answered before making up an excuse and leaving us alone. "Oh nooo, I have to go because I'm late for my... uhm, Green Eggs and Ham discussion group. Um tonight it's why he would not eat them on a train. Have fun, bye!"

"That was so lame," I said whispering to Phoebe, she is unbelievable.

"I know, yeah. Ok, talk to him," she leaves.

So we started talking and I realized that he was a nice guy and we could spend time together. From one subject to another, we got into relationships and kept talking about the reason for the breakup. He started talking about his ex, Tilly.

"I, I've got a funny one, alright. My last girlfriend Tilly. Ok, we're eating breakfast, right, and I made all these pancakes, there was like 50 pancakes right. And all of the sudden she turns to me, alright, and she says, 'Eddie.' I say, 'yeah,' she says, 'Eddie, I don't want to see you anymore.' And it was literally like she had reached into my chest, ripped out my heart, and smeared it all over my life, ya know. And now there's like this incredible abyss, ya know, and I'm falling and I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop," he finishes laughing. "That, uh, wasn't such a funny story, was it?"

That's when I realized that Eddie wasn't normal. Eddie was... CRAZY! Yeah, crazy! I was even more sure of that the next day when Tilly came to bring his aquarium and then he arrived at our apartment. He spoke to her, who was still at the door, after a few minutes said goodbye and closed the door. As soon as it closed, he asked if I had slept with her. To top it off, he said I killed his fish. I DIDN'T KILL HIS FISH! THERE WAS NO FISH! Then he got a fish from flour, I think it was a shortbread, he put it in the aquarium and said he had a new fish. I told you... The guy was crazy! And I was scared of him.

Oh, and imagine you waking up in the middle of the night with your roommate watching you while you sleep? And he is a cheeky guy. He told me that he had to hide from me to not be seen before. No! I couldn't live with Eddie anymore. Just as I woke up, I told him to leave. I didn't want him living with me anymore. Did he get anything? Noooo. When I got back from work and slipped into my apartment, he was still there and I was startled when he suddenly got up from behind the counter.

"Eddie, what are you still doing here?"

"Ah, just some basic dehydrating of a few fruits and vegetables... MAN ALIVE, this thing's fantastic!"

"Look Eddie, aren't you forgetting anything?"

"Oh, yeah, that's right! Look, I got us a new goldfish. He's a lot feistier that the last one."