Maybe I'm trying too hard
Or maybe I'm just unlovable.
I can see why I would be;
I get angry over small things,
I assume before I ask.
And though I try so hard,
I'm still selfish. It's still only me.
I always get hurt when I say “I love you”
And I always run from it when it's said to me
It's scary. It's my big bad monster.
It scares me because it always leads to pain.
The happiness is always
Always
Temporary, and yet..
I keep saying it. I keep letting it sneak in.
It's a snake like that
Slithering through the defenses
That I worked so hard to build so high
It's the one thing I can't ever truly
Block out of my life.
I can ignore most people who've wronged me
But to those I put effort into,
To those I did everything to please
Even if just for a moment.
To those I loved
With every part of me.
To those few people, those few with strings
Hanging from their hearts
Severed right before reaching my own.
I can't ignore those people,
Not for long.
I see them everywhere,
I hear them everywhere.
And just when I think I could be over them,
They show up again, rise from their grave,
Just to taunt me with their mere appearance.
Every fucking time..
And every time I become a fool again.
I let myself think that maybe, just maybe,
They'll still love me, they'll still want me
After everything. After being so horrible.
And every fucking time
I'm wrong.
~+~+~+~+~+~+~
-Kory, again. Hello. This is my newest poem. I was gonna wait until I had the older poems posted first. You know, chronological order, but I also didn't really see a point. This isn't a chapter by chapter story. They're just poems reflecting my thoughts and feelings at certain times. They're completely random and, for the most part, unrelated to one another
