When Robert woke up, he was alone and it was late morning. He was immediately filled with profound guilt and anxiety as he sat up in bed and put his head in his hands. What had he done? How could he have been so reckless? How could he have allowed himself to get drunk and have sex with Georgie? He couldn’t believe he’d been so stupid. And he hadn’t just had sex with her. All the things he’d confessed to her ran through his mind, as he groaned out loud with mortification. He’d told her everything. Now she knew he liked her – a lot. It would be impossible to convince her he didn’t mean any of it. As images from the night before filled his mind, he couldn’t believe he’d fucked things up so badly.
What he’d done wasn’t just reckless and stupid, it was extremely selfish. He’d started it, he didn’t stop it, and Georgie would be the one who would pay the price if the bastard found out. He remembered how incredibly beautiful she’d looked, kneeling next to him naked in the firelight – and then an image of the bastard came into his head, raging at her and beating her. Robert was terrified for her, and for him. How could he possibly survive watching her being beaten because he’d made love to her? Or would it be worse than that? Would the bastard be so enraged, he’d do more than just beat her? And there would be no way Robert could stop it. He could feel the trapped, panicky feeling looming, as he was overwhelmed realizing how powerless he was to protect her from what he’d done.
Maybe it would be like all the other times they’d gone too far, he thought desperately. Maybe she’d pretend it never happened. She had to know how much danger she was in. She had to know they never should’ve had sex. He imagined walking in the kitchen and Georgie reading her book, looking like nothing had happened. He clung to the image, but it didn’t give him a lot of hope.
He didn’t want to get out of bed but he made himself. He had to deal with the mess he’d made. He put on pajama bottoms and a t-shirt and left his bedroom. Georgie had cleaned up the sitting room already so no one could tell what had happened there the night before.
He found her in the kitchen with her coffee and book. As soon as she saw him, her face lit up and she smiled a huge smile, saying, “Good morning!” in a happy voice. She looked so beautiful it broke his heart, and he looked away with a terrible sinking feeling. She was not going to pretend it didn’t happen.
He filled the kettle with water while desperately trying to think of how he could fix this. He put it on the burner and when he turned around, she was right behind him and threw her arms around his neck, hugging him. It made him feel even more guilty, and he pulled her off.
“What’s wrong?” she said when she saw his expression.
“Georgie, we need to talk,” he said, barely able to look at her.
“I know we need to talk, but I’m still happy to see you!” she said in a cheery voice. She was smiling at him, her face glowing. He had to look away.
She left him to get his tea and sat down at the table, saying emphatically, “It’s a good morning today!”
He suddenly realized she’d never greeted him with ‘good morning’ before. She’d always said ‘hi’ or ‘hello’. He could feel the black crushing weight beginning to creep up on him as he realized how happy she was, and how it would look to the bastard if he saw her like this. There was no way he wouldn't immediately guess what had happened between them. It was clear Georgie didn’t seem to understand at all what a seriously dangerous situation they were in. He had to concentrate on his breathing while he stood at the oven, waiting for his water to boil, because he was starting to feel like he wasn’t getting enough oxygen.
After he’d poured the boiling water in his mug, he sat at the table and looked at her miserably. He wasn’t going to waste any time. “Georgie, I’m so sorry about what I did last night. I can’t believe I let it happen. I’m scared that fucking bastard is going to hurt you once he finds out what we’ve done and I’ve no idea how I’m going to protect you. We must never do it again and I just pray he never finds out. I’ll never forgive myself if he hurts you because I was so careless.” He sat there feeling spent, fighting back the black crushing weight, hoping she understood now.
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Stolen Hearts (2012 Wattys Finalist)
RomanceA young man wakes up to find he's been kidnapped and being held a prisoner. He's told he won't be harmed and he'll be returned home soon, but can he believe them? Now he has to figure out how to survive while he shares his prison with one of the k...
