A life without love.

prologue

He steps in closer to me. I gasp in a breath not knowing how to breathe. It's crazy how he has this kind of effect on me.
He pulls me in and wraps his strong arms around me. "Your so beautiful" he whispers into my hair. I can feel the tears starting to build up into my eyes but blink then back not wanting to cry. I pull away from him and he grabs my hands caressing my knuckles. "Xavier, thank you so much for me but I have to go". Trying to keep my voice from shaking.  He looks at me bewildered for a moment. Confused his green eyes darker with confusion. "What do you mean you 'have to go'?" He asks. " I can't stay here it's too hard". If only he knew who I really was he would never want to talk to me again.  "I'm not who you think I am".
"You are exactly who I think you are Emily" he practically growls.

I put my head down not wanting to look at him but he grabs my face and pulls me up to look at him. "Emily, can't you see? You're my world, everything before you I didn't feel anything but with you it's everything". A tear slides down my face and Xavier wipes it with his hand. "please let me help you" he pleads. I want to. Oh god do I want to let him help but some things are beyond saving. "your my everything too" I finally say.  He leans in and I can feel his breath on my face. He keeps looking at my lips and all I can feel is all the love and care I have for this boy. He cups the back of my head and kissed me so fiercely and tenderly as if I'm going to shatter but he wants nothing more than to hold onto me forever. I can feel the love and passion he has. All the happiness and love. Our first date. When we had a water fight out in the back yard everything. I want nothing more to stay. But that would be selfish of me and I'm not that selfish to let Xavier give up all he had for me. He belongs her in Redington. it's how home. I pull away out of breath. He puts his head on mine looking into my hazel eyes. "I love you" he says. " I have to go" I say trying not to cry. "I'm sorry" with that I turn around and walk away from. The one boy who I gave  everything to knowing that I may never see him again. "Emily!" He yells. I can get the Cries within his voice. But I Don't turn back. "Goodbye Xavier" I whisper.