Book 1- Fill the Void

Cutting.

The rest of the week passes quickly, with no disturbances from the bald man with pink skin, green polka dots and orange nails. Soon Friday evening was upon us and I make my way up to the infirmary, with Snape by my side. Once there we go to Madame Pomphreys office and Knock on the door.

"Ahh, Kobaru, Severus, How are you?"

"I'm fine Madame-"

"Another dunderhead blew up a cauldron today in class."

"I said I was sorry."

"Indeed."

"As much as this is entertaining me, I would like to know why you, Severus and Mrs. Malfoy are currently here? Is something the matter?"

I take a couple of deep breaths then lift up my sleeves. Gasps fill the room and I can feel someone run delicate fingers over the scars, both old and new, that criss cross my wrists and forearms. 

"Kobaru, baby, Why?"

"I don't know why, doing it just makes me feel better, It makes my mind go quiet when I'm remembering all the things that have happened. My life is so fucked up and I... I need help." I'm sobbing now, barely able to remain on my own two feet. I feel big hands one on my shoulder, long fingers wrapping over it and the other on my back. They stir me into a chair and then let go so that someone can envelope me into a warm hug. Somewhere in my haze I realise that it is Mother and a hug her back, holding on so tight I thought that I would break her.

"I wanted to confront you about them at the welcoming feast, we all did, but we didn't want to do it too soon, in case you decided that you couldn't talk to us about them. We were afraid to push you for information in case you decided to distance yourself from us. We knew you would come to us about it when you were ready, so decided to trust you to do so." I can just make out Madame Pomphreys voice. It sounds muffled and distant.

"May be a mind healer-"

"NO! Mother please understand that I can't speak to anyone that I don't trust."

"Well then speak to us before you cut-"

"I've tried, each time I've lost my nerve and left."

"Then what? Kobaru, you need to meet us halfway here. You can't speak to us, yet you will refuse to speak to anyone else. What else can we do?" Severus asked with a hint of desperation in his voice.

"There's a potion. A compulsion potion. It will force me to seek someone out to talk to. If we set the triggers to self harm, then I will have no choice but to come to one of you and talk to you about it. I will automatically go to the person listed as a conformant and talk to them. The conformant will be the person who brews the potion. That's why I asked for Severus to be here."

"I know the potion, but it will only last a month. You would need to keep taking it and it's toxic in large quantities. You would only be able to take it safely four times."

"Hopefully by then, It won't be needed."

"Is this what you want, son?"

"Yes. It'll need to be signed for by a guardian, healer or medi and a potion master in order for it to be used."

"How long have you been researching this for Kobaru?" Madame Pomphrey questioned.

"About a month. When we came home for the first full moon of term and saw the state Tom was in. I don't want to see him like that. It hurt more than anything that the Dursleys did. It got me thinking on what I was doing and how it would hurt everyone else if I let it go too far. At first I tried to do it on my own, but I couldn't."

"So you came to us for help."

"Yeah."

"Alright. I'll get started on the potion. Once it is done we'll sign the forms and then you will take the potion."

"Thank you."