Toning I'm Letting You Go (One-Shot)

Tonight I'm Letting You Go

  Someone's POV,         

               Tonight I'm letting you go, when the moon is bright on a cloudless night yet the stars refuse to shine, deserting the universe's desire to unveil its beauty to sleepless souls.  Tonight I'm letting you go, when I still have the courage to, before I completely change my mind and go back to the very first stage of grief again. I've been in this situation countless times before ; this time I'll do it until I won't. But in this exact moment, I cross my heart that I'm really finally setting you free.

               This is not just about my past lover, nor my deceased love. This is for all the things - people,places memories - that have been nothing but entirely toxic; to my being, my mind,my sanity: my demons hiding in my own shadows, the whisper of haunted voices lurking in every corner. I have chosen my poison long before, back when I thought it was my only source of comfort, but tonight I choose to bid farewell to my addiction of false approvals and empty affections.  I've been staring blanky ahead, gathering my thoughts and mustering up the courage to finally do this - to finally say goodbye. I've been holding on for far too long on things that were never within my grasp. I finally see it now, and its time to for me to face the music, to sway the blues in my solidarity. It's time to accept that some things and some people aren't just meant to stay.

                It took more than just petty heartbreaks for me to finally have my epiphany. I had my faith doubted, my beliefs questioned. I had spent months that felt like eternities fighting my inner conflicts, struggling so hard to come out victorious in my own battles. I know that the most treacherous enemy you can have is yourself, with your mind chaotic and in boarderline insanity.And in my self-discovery, I've come to terms that I'm not always the destination, rather just a stopover on a long journey ahead. like asymptotes, no matter how hard I reach, no matter how desperate I chase, we are just mere points that will never meet, even when the stars align,even when the world stops spinning in its ecstatic motion. The night is silent , too silent that it's almost deafening. But I embrace the solace, welcoming with open arms the comfort it offers. The familiarity of the lone night enveloped in darkness is just what I needed, with my inner turmoils already trying to resist my own revolution. It gives me a sense of clarity , a revelation long overdue; a sense of direction on what I should've done a long time ago. The possibility  of being alone in a scary world once terrified me, but that was a long time ago, back when I was still naive, back when I was clueless as I was gullible. Now I have a newfond strength for me to slay my demons.

                Writing was always a possession of mine, and now I'm using it as a means to exorcise all of my ghosts. But this is far from a love letter. No -- these are my final words before I completely cut all ties. I once thought that your poison was what completed me, my guilty pleasure in this life of sin. But toxicity was never what I needed, nor will it ever be. So this is to all of you, the ones who've been nothing but consumingly toxic to my very existence - to the friend who abondoned our friendship to pursuit of love, to the ones who've done nothing but used me wholly, to the people who took me for granted when all I ever wanted was to earn my place by your side. The chains that held me to captive to the notion of uncertainty , binding me to my hesitations in letting go, are now distant strangers in my resolve.  I have much to give, and still have much to offer. The universe and I have already conspired to break free from my prison- completely, and without any reservations. I've learned my lesson. I'm better off without all of you, and now I can finally breath again.

                 Tonight I'm letting all of you go because there is nothing more that I deserve than peace. I deserve happiness. And may all the bridges I burn light my way.

Happy New Year Everyone!🖤
Thank You 2018, Welcome 2019!🖤
-iTsMeeMaRy