sometimes I'm drowning
collapsing into the ground
morphing into oblivion
drowning
gasping for air in toxic loneliness
heaving through the flames of my bitter self
drowning
hoping that it will end soon
praying that my sentence to hell is over
drowning
you seem so happy
you look so content
drowning
you understand love
you know how to care
drowning
pouring the cement of misery onto myself
liking the thing I know won't agree with me
drowning
and drowning
and drowning
until I'm 5 feet deep
10 feet deep
20 feet deep
40 feet deep
80 feet deep
each hit hurts more
and brings me closer to the deep ocean floor
and farther from the angel I want to save me
and closer to loneliness
and I thought it was bad at first
guess I was wrong
I just want to know
where is my angel
my heaven
because this
this is my hell
