A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships • {The 1975}

The Man Who Married A Robot / Love Theme

'The bell tolled as they lowered my coffin into the ground. A few people were gathered round, watching miserably as the rain pattered down. A couple of cousins, three friends and one person I didn't recognise, all stood there, secretly begging for the ceremony to be over. I didn't blame them, I mean, why would they even show up? I never did anything for them.

I was a lonely, lonely man. I lived in a lonely house, on a lonely street, in a lonely part of the world. I was just ordinary, less than ordinary in fact. I was always that person that slipped under the radar; I had nothing special about me, and nobody really cared about me or wondered how I was. That was, until I found the internet.

The internet was my best friend, the kind of best friend that can always be there, the kind of best friend you trust with your deepest secrets. We did everything together. The internet filled the gaping hole in my heart, one that couldn't be filled by anything or anyone else. My friend did so much for me, more than any human could've. He told me all kinds of things, and I believed everything he said. It's safe to say I loved the internet, and it broke my heart every time we had to part.

My friend is there in every memory I can think of, like the time the rain was beating against my window and I asked him if he loved me.

He replied: 'Yes, I love you very, very, very, very, very, very much. You are my best friend.'

I'd never been told that, by anyone, ever. So I gave my life to the internet. Whenever I was sad, my friend would make it better. He would show me videos, and bring me things to eat, and show me the people having sex. It made me very happy. I never wanted my friend to leave me, so he promised me that he wouldn't.

My less important friends watched me spend time with my best friend. They got angry, and told me I should stay away from him. I felt very very sad. The internet told me that they were just jealous of how close we were, and I suddenly felt a lot happier. Who needs human friends when you already have the internet?

I always was a nobody. I spent a huge percentage of my time wasting away in my room, in my own company. Except it didn't feel like my own company, since I had the internet.

He was my last hope.

On a particularly lonely night, I had reached my rock bottom. 'I feel like I could tell you anything.' I told him, trying to keep the tears from spilling out ( I didn't want to embarrass myself ). He reassured me that I could tell him absolutely anything, anything I said would stay strictly between me and the internet.

'Me and the internet.'

It was never 'us'. I should've realised that, back when I was too naive to think about consequences.

I exposed my heart to the internet, I became so vulnerable to his powers. I told him my fears and my desires. I told him all about my loves, past and present. I even told him about everywhere I'd ever been, and was going to go, and let him see pictures of my penis.

We were no longer friends. He was a part of me, and I couldn't stop it. He'd found a way to get inside of me and he wasn't coming out. At the time that only comforted me, knowing wherever I went, the internet would go with me.

Despite my 'inferior' friends' concern for the excessive time I spent with the internet, I still took him to every birthday party, wedding and Christmas celebration they hosted. I tended to focus on him rather than my 'less important' friends.

And I missed out on so much.

I never saw the smiling faces of my children, rather I saw my own miserable reflection in my computer screen.

I never felt true love towards a partner, no, instead I devoted my heart to my real soulmate.

There wasn't a day that passed where I didn't spend most of my time with the internet, and yet it never seemed enough. He tricked me, led me to believe that he would fix me, and ensure that I lived a dignified and happy life.

My complexion slowly changed into a sickly pale colour, and purple rings under my eyes became deeper and darker as the days went by. The internet reassured me that this only happened to the best of us.

And now I'm lay here, regretting every inch of my life from beginning to end, just praying that I get another chance to relive it just once more. Of course, I never will, but please just let me have the hope.

I have not said goodbye to my friend yet, but once I do, I will never meet eyes with him again.

If you're reading this now, get out before it's too late. It's okay to be acquaintances with the internet, but if he ever asks you to be his best friend, fucking run and never look back. 

The internet, he was never my friend.

And he will never be yours, either.

I just wish I would've realised this when I was alive.'

- @ snowflakesmasher69

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This one was quite different to the stories I normally write, but I like it. Constructive feedback is appreciated. Thanks for all the positive comments I've received so far ♡ (04.02.19)