Poison And Wine (BeChloe)

Chapter 7: Between The Lines

Two hours after midnight, I lie awake in my bed. I try to recall why I am silently crying my eyes out so that I don't get to disturb my drunken Asian roommate from her good night sleep.

As per request, I spent the entire day and night with Stan and his girlfriend who turned out to be the one and only Chloe Beale. I followed them everywhere they went. We rode on a roller coaster and I sat patiently across them on the ferris wheel. One time, Stan played some basketball shooting and of course he won, and as a prize was this huge pink teddy bear for Chloe. Later on, we ate some barbeque for dinner. They started telling me some things about their love story. They first met at a paintball game. It was Aubrey's first time and so Chloe approached this stranger, Stan Mitchell, and asked him to take a picture of them, and as they say, the rest is history. So, it was him. It was him who took that cute picture which currently decorates Aubrey's bedside table.

"I'm talking to what's left of you

And watching what I say Counting all the freckles on your perfect face"

I wanted to go home so badly, but Stan insisted that I join them at the concert area and listen to the remaining bands. Fuck Matt Nathanson for singing one of the saddest songs ever. I sat there helplessly at the grass with my brother next to me and Chloe on his other side. I watched them cuddle up and I had never felt so alone in my entire life. I watched how Chloe laughed at Stan's stupid jokes. I watched Stan kissed her hair after he whispered 'you're beautiful'. I watched them closely and I thought how perfect they are for each other like they were essentially destined to be together. Now how can I ever compete with that? How can I ever compete with Stan? It's not even a contest. I have lost the battle even before it has begun.

"So what happened to bulletproof weeks in your arms

What happened to feeling cheap radio songs

What happened to thinking that the world was flat

What happened to that"

I have never seen two people so in love with each other. That's Chloe and Stan. At first, as I spent the entire evening with them, I honestly thought I was just watching my brother with his girlfriend. But then I realized what was actually happening the whole time - that I was watching the girl of my dreams slip away from me. No, I was watching myself letting go of Chloe. And although I know for sure that I have never loved anyone the way I love her now, I'm just going to have to be okay with that.

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The next day, I wait for Aubrey Posen at the entrance of the School of Economics Building. I know that every Friday at nine o'clock in the morning, she has a class on Advanced Macroeconomics. I check my phone and it says '8:40'. I've been sitting here at the front steps since 7:00 not wanting to miss The Captain. I

spent the entire night lying on my bed, thinking about Chloe and Stan. Forget about breakfast or sleep; I wait patiently for Aubrey because I desperately need to talk to someone. I desperately need to talk to her or so help me god, I'm just going to kill myself now.

Fortunately, I find her fast approaching. I check my phone again, and the time now reads '8:42'. Her classroom is on the second floor of the enormous building so if she speeds up, she will probably make it right before Professor Brown, the most punctual professor I have ever known. It's the fastest brisk walking I've ever seen, all her poise fading away with every step.

"Aubrey," I call out her name as I quickly stand and wave at her.

It is either she didn't hear me out or she did hear but simply chose to ignore me.

I hurry to meet her at the door, "Aubrey, I need to talk to you. Please."

"Can we find another time for this, Beca? I'm going to be late for class if I don't hurry."