Realisation

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So my story is sorta messed up in terms of the timeline so I'll do my best to arrange it in the most correct way possible.
So it all starts way back like way back before I became what I am today, for you see I was just a normal person before I became a hollow. I'm obviously the protagonist but not really a hero most of the time.

So when you trust someone you tell them things that you think are personal and wouldn't normally share with many people just the select few that you trust. And when you have feelings towards someone it starts to develop into that accursed  thing called "love". Now I didn't always dislike this thing we call "love" I wanted to experience it like everyone does. The only downside was I tried to experience it to early and that was where my downfall began.
I'll start when I just entered what I will call high school. Everything was so fast pace and I never really felt like I was fitting in or anything like that felt pretty awkward and un-natural .
Eventually got used to it after a couple of weeks had some people I knew, so that made it a little easier for me. I also kinda made some new friends and by made friends I mean people I didn't know started talking to me. As the term went on we played video games and talked about random things everyday, the classes were easy. There was only one obstacle that I found challenging and that was GIRLS, more particularly GIRLFRIENDS. To obtain one was my quest and I would do anything to reach my goal. Wasn't very desperate but would accept ANY girl that jumped at me first. Everything would be pretty slow in terms of me meeting my objective girls from higher grades would come into our class rooms during break time, some would even give us hugs for no particular reason but who and I to say no to a girl with some pillows on her chest. At the time I was very how you say thirsty for the female touch so having some tits pressed against me every  recess wasn't half bad. Soon all of my associates(friends) were getting there girls while I was still waiting in a fish to bite. I started to drift away from being my self and developed this persona that I only used in school, that meant some changes to my normal personality, my taste in music, and the things I cared about. So at the start of the term one of the people that I knew before high school was this kid we'll call him Danny. Now Danny wasn't that much of my friend at least not for long. Danny was a decent friend until his mind became corrupt. Danny had this friend who luckily for me was indeed a female. I'll admit not the most attractive female but a female none the less. Sorta like choosing squirtle as a starter Pokémon not the best but not the worst. Danny called me and two of my other friends who well call Steve and Frank, he told us that the girl had a crush on the three of us. Now ik that's an immediate turn off but hey I was desperate I guess. So out of all threefold the boys I chose to be the one to like her back. I told Danny to tell her and we began dating.
Now this girl didn't have a good reputation amongst the students. She was known for hooking up with a much younger boy than her age, but alas I chose to ignore the rumors and continue with my choice. The relationship wasn't that challenging and I had no problem with the girl and she was that difficult to be with. There was one issue tho she didn't know who the real me was she only knew the persona that I created for school. The one that is more concerned about how he looks and follows other people just because he's afraid of being an individual. Slowly but surely the school me started to become the personality I would use everyday in or out of school. That became a problem, I struggled to relate to her which caused me to waste time listening some of the music she listens to and spending more time trying to please her than think about myself. It made me very easy to be walked on and when I began to grow tired of trying to juggle all of this I would just give up and that's when she started freaking out. She came into my class and began cursing me out because I didn't talk to her in the morning. Started replying much slower. Rumors started going around that she was hooking up with this other boy. Now the thing is I don't know anything about anything including girls so I think if I just hug her everyday and occasionally kiss her on the cheek I'm good. I was terribly wrong thought. When we were texting she would often talk about touching me and other sexual things. I wasn't scared of these topics, I just wasn't ready for them yet. I just dipped my toe in the water and she already wanted me to dive in headfirst. This was the reason this girl and I had to part ways with each other, she was a bit to sexual for my liking at the time and I was growing tired of not being me. I also started to hang out with some of the girls from my class so I could see why she would get jealous. To be honest I didn't even break up with her I told Frank to tell her we're over. Boy was that a mistake, she cried the entire day. I didn't feel a hint of remorse towards her, she cheated on me after all so she got what was coming to her. I'll admit had at least on decent memory of her sending me this picture where she had got a coca-cola with my name on it and cut off the label and and stuck it to her lips and sent it to me. That was the nicest memory I shared with this girl. I got rid of everything she had ever given me, which was a drawing with my name in a heart (I know, pretty romantic right) , I took a lighter and lit it a blaze and watched it burned as I felt my eyes watering. I didn't cry though because she didn't deserve my tears.

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⏰ Last updated: Dec 14, 2018 ⏰

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