Second Chances

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

 

I stood silently outside my mother's bedroom door. It was late at night and I mentally prepared myself for the talk I was about to have with my mom.  I debated whether to politely knock or just enter. Being the spineless girl I am, I decided on the former.

Before I knocked, I gently put my ear against the door. What I heard didn't surprise me one bit.  I heard my mother sobbing and knew that this talk could no longer wait.

I gently rapped on the door and waited. I heard her sniffle and stand up. In my head,  I ran through the speech once more.

She opened the door and my heart instantly broke. There stood my beautiful mother. Her once sparkling blue eyes were swollen and red. Her petite nose was red and sore from the countless times she blew it. Her once glowing skin was pale and lifeless. I instantly knew that she needed help, and fast.

Ever since my dad left when I was seven, my mom has never been the same. She was the caring mom who always told you to look at the bright side. Now, she mopes around and cries all the time. Right after he left, she threw out all the pictures and reminders of him besides one. Their wedding photo.

She hid it from me and claimed she was over him and we needed to move on. I believed it until I woke up from a scary dream and wanted comfort from my mom. I walked into her room and saw her sobbing over that stupid picture. Even at eight years old I knew my mom had a serious problem.

I shook my head and cleared it of that memory. I had more important matters to deal with right now.

"Anne Jacobs, look at yourself," I reprimanded my mom. Right now, you would think I was the adult.

"Honey, you know I hate it when you see me like this." My mom began to rub her eyes with the tissue as she looked embarrassed that I caught her like this.

"Mom, you can't keep going on like this. I hate to see you cry over him. I am worried about your health." I began to get a little furious with the way she was acting. She reminded me of a child who just lost their favorite blanket. Like it was something they couldn't emotionally let go of."Right after he left you always said, and I quote, 'out with the old and in with the new'. It's been eight years and I think you should at least try to move on."

"I have tried," My mother said calmly though, I could tell she was getting a bit angry.

"No you haven't. You want to hold onto the little hope you have and cry over your loss. He is never coming back! You should know that after this long, he is no longer interested. He obviously had his reasons for leaving and he hated them enough to not come back. Mom, I know you love  him but, you really need to move on."

"Look, I don't want to hear this right now. I'm the mom. You can't tell me what to do!" I could tell my mom was really angry. I wouldn't- I couldn't- back down now. Her health was at risk.

"That sounded so childish! If you're the parent then shouldn't you be more worried about what is going on in my life! You haven't noticed the struggles I have been going through, have you? You have been so caught up in yourself that you haven't noticed the pain I have!" My blood boiled and I let out everything I had been holding in for far too long. "Besides the fact I'm constantly worried about you and your health, I am being bullied!" I quickly shut my mouth. That wasn't supposed to come out. I wasn't going to turn this talk about me. I needed to fix my mom and not let her change the subject to me.

My mother stood there and stared at me as if seeing me in a new light. She looked hesitant, as if she didn't know what to say. "Honey, I'm so sorry. I-I didn't know."

I held back the urge to roll my eyes. "Of course you didn't know! You haven't had a conversation that lasted more than five minutes with me since  I was seven. Do you know how much it hurts? Do you know that it kills me to see you like this? Do you know that I want to have a relationship with my mom where we can talk and I can have the comfort every girl needs. One, where we go shopping on the weekends just so we can spend time together? You weren't even there for me when I was going through puberty! Do you know how self- conscience I was and still am? No. You can't relate to any of those problems because you have never had to deal with that!" I was on the verge of tears. I couldn't do this anymore. It hurt too much.

I turned on my heels, ready to walk away when I heard my mom mumble something incoherent. I turned back around and asked her, as kindly as I could, to repeat it.

Her face went from being concerned and hurt into pure anger. "You are almost 16 Izabelle! You need to start showing some respect to your mother!"

I huffed out in anger and turned back around. I needed to escape this before I burst.

"Izabelle Elaine Jacobs! You come back here right now! You cannot disrespect me like that!"

I couldn't find it in me to yell back so I quickened my pace and went to my room. As soon as I was in the safety of my own room, I slammed the door and  leaned against it. Instantly, I broke into tears and crumbled to the floor.

This was supposed to be a talk to calm her and make her feel better. I didn't want it to turn into a fight. I especially didn't want it to turn into a fight about me.

I composed myself and reached for my phone. Without a second of hesitation, I dialed one of the only contacts in my phone. I grabbed a tissue and wiped my eyes as the phone began to ring.

"Hey!" He said enthusiastically.  

"Hey Aaron." I let out a relieved sigh. Aaron was my one and only friend. We had known each other since we were five and he has been there for me even before my dad left. I knew he was the only person who could comfort me and help me; especially now.

"I'm gonna guess it didn't go very well." Aaron's comforting voice became the only thing I could focus on.

I sighed and began to relay the event in my head. It kind of took a while for me to compose myself enough to be able to utter a single word. Aaron was silent on the other line. That is what I like about him. He doesn't pry, he is a great listener, and he has amazing advice.

"That's an understatement." I began to let out all the emotions I had been holding back as I told him exactly what happened. I couldn't keep worrying about her. She barely eats, cries constantly, and hasn't laughed in a long time.

Aaron just listened to me rant. When I was finally done he was silent for a second before he said, "and how does that make you feel?"

I let out a little chuckle as I said, "you've been reading The Fault In Our Stars, haven't you?"

I could hear the smile in his voice as he said, "and what of it?" Then his voice became serious again. "Seriously, how do you feel?"

I sighed. Aaron was the only one who could make me smile at a time like this but, that didn't stop him from being concerned. "I am a melting pot of emotions right now. I'm sad, angry, frustrated, and tired of it all."

Aaron, being the wise man he is said, "Don't let her get to you. You haven't had a real mom in so long and you have been just fine. Besides, you have me." I could practically hear his signature smirk forming on his face.

I laughed lightly. "Thanks Aaron. I really needed someone to talk to."

"Your welcome. I actually enjoy helping people contrary to popular belief." He paused for a moment before he gently said, "Are you okay?"

I frowned slightly before I quietly responded, "Honestly, no. But, I'm not going to let her get to me anymore. I need to move on with my life."

"Good," he replied.

We said our goodbyes and Aaron said the goodnight line we have been saying since we were little kids. "Good night, sweet dreams, see you in the morning."

I smiled and repeated our saying. We hung up and I crawled into bed. I was exhausted and easily let sleep overtake me.