Little One

Happy

I was born happy. I think. I mean, I grew up happy. My childhood was perfect. I had a family, house, money. It was almost a dream. But everyone has to wake up at some point.

I have a sister, Susan. She's 5 years older than me. I was the smart one. The pretty one. But for some reason, she was always the favorite. We taught constantly; it was always her fault. She did things to make me mad. To set me off.

My family wasn't just my parents and Susan. I was really close with my extended family too. My aunts and uncles, cousins, and especially my grandparents. On my dad's side. I never saw my moms family. Apparently, there was too much "drama" as my mother would say.

When I was 8, my mom's dad died. He was the one person on my mom's side that I was close to. I was too young to understand. Death was death. I'm a Christian, I was happy he was in heaven, but sad he was dead. I didn't know what I thought.

After that, my mom was never the same. She was a workaholic. When she came home late at night, she and my dad would always fight. Finally, she left him. She brought me and Susan with her to live with her friend. We didn't want to; we were miserable there. She and my sister fought constantly. I was too shy to speak my mind. I let everyone use me and push me around.

Since I moved houses, I had to move schools. It was awful. The bullies. The teachers. I hated everything. My mom told my sister she could live with my dad, so we didn't speak much. My mom and I found a small house to buy. I loved it. It was new to me; I had never lived in a neighborhood before. I'm used to the country. The middle of nowhere. There was a boy a few houses down who would bully me, so I stayed inside most of the time.

As middle school came along, I made a friend. Her name was Jordan. She was a twin. Her twin, Hallie was so rude to us. She would say things to make me so mad. Jordan and I were friends mostly because we liked the same band. One Direction. We were both bullied for liking them, but we didn't care.

A.N. Twitter: @beaniecartah

Instagram: @beaniecartah

I'm not going to update on a regular basis, so don't ask. ✌️