Gotham Villains Awards

Harvey Dent is hosting tonight's event. It is a chance for Gotham's underworld elite to come together and celebrate the mayhem and chaos they create every year. You and The Joker are sitting at a table close to the stage, sharing the space with The Penguin and his girlfriend, Anita and Harvey's wife, Sophia. Since he is on the stage, can't really join you for the evening and that's fine with J. He keeps on talking to Oswald and you chit chat with the girls.

"Are you going to try for another baby?" Anita asks because you hang out quite a bit so she knows the story.

"Yes, we are actually trying again, I really want a girl," you sigh, thinking about all the pink, cute stuff you can buy for a little Princess and you can't since you have 5 boys.

"And...how are things going?" Sophia elbows you, snickering.

"Great, can't complain; J is such a stud, he could get a rock pregnant!" you praise your partner in crime.

Plop! An olive bounces off your cleavage and falls on your plate. The Joker was eavesdropping (like he always does) so he had to get your attention.

"Rrrrrrrrrrrrr," he purrs from across the table, winking and goes back to his conversation.

You smile, blushing a bit and scratch your arm, flattered.

"I love my kids, don't get me wrong," you address the women, "but a girl in the ocean of testosterone would be nice." They laugh, amused and you have to say it: "I think it might be something wrong with J's genes - he can only make boys."

Plop! Another olive bounces off you.

"There's nothing wrong with my genes, Pumpkin," he growls, annoyed. He wants to continue with a rant but the first award of the night is coming up. They never show the nominees, they just present the winner to avoid further confrontations between all the crazy people in there. If you don't really know who you were up against, then things won't get out of hand. Hopefully.

Harvey Dent clears up his throat and announces:

"The first award of the night is Best Car Chase of The Year. And the winner is... Mister J for the third year in a row!"

"Ha! I won again!" J gets up, leans over the table to kiss you and you are so excited for him. Pictures taken from the surveillance cameras all over Gotham show the Purple Lamborghini followed by the Bat mobile on June 15th, when you and J robbed 7 banks in one night. J goes on the stage and Harvey hands over his recognition.

"Thank you!" his deep voice resonates in the huge room and the speakers tremble from the husky tone that makes you shiver with adoration. You are about to lose your shit; he looks so dashing in that silver suit. "All I wanted to say is: Batsy's a jerk!!" The whole place goes insane! Everyone is clapping, whistling and get on their feet, chanting his name. He smirks, victorious, enjoying being the center of attention and points towards you: "My wife was with me that night so half of this is hers." You almost faint with exhilaration and blow him a kiss while he feels the need to clear up something:

"And for the record, there's nothing wrong with my genes!" Not a single soul was phased by the random sentence because they are all a bunch of mad weirdos. Nothing fazes them since they are used to awkwardness; they actually clap more.

Your husband returns to his sit not before kissing you again, then bites your neck fast and really hard.

"Auch!! That hurts," you complain, pouting, covering the red mark.

"Good," he whispers in your ear. "That got you pregnant, Doll. Since I can get rocks pregnant, maybe this worked also," he sniffles your hair, aroused, then fights with himself to get away and returns by Oswald's side.