There's No Such Thing

Chapter 5

"Autumn, are you okay?" I wiped away my tears looking up to see Lukas Brecht. He had been in my presentation group in my history class a few weeks ago but we hadn't talked much outside of the few days we spent preparing for our presentation. All I knew about him was that he had moved to America five years ago after living in Germany and then France, which showed in the slight accent he had when he spoke. He was really intelligent and a hard worker; he did the majority of the work for our presentation, choosing to focus on work instead of socializing when our group met. I don't think he had even paid much attention to me when we were grouped together and so I was surprised when he leaned against the wall sliding down to sit beside me, coming to my aid while I cried.

If I had been expecting some tall, dark and handsome knight in shining armor to come cheer me up after my saddening experience with Peter, Lukas definitely didn't look like it. He was short; at my rather tall height of 5'8" he stood a few inches below me. He had chin length blond hair that curled slightly at the ends, in a style that I thought had died out a decade ago. His oceanic blue eyes were a little too close together and his nose was a little too long for him to be considered attractive (although looking at him from the side you couldn't see these imperfections and he was actually kind of cute, in like a little kid whose cheeks you want to pinch kind of way). He was very thin, this coupled with his short stature added to his childlike appearance. It was almost funny - Peter looked so adult and yet was so mature while Lukas looked like a little kid but was mature and kind. It wasn't that I liked Lukas or anything like that, I just found the concerned look on his child-like face heartwarming. I felt like I could open up to him, although I hardly knew him. There was a surprising warmth in his normally icy blue eyes.

"What's wrong?" I looked at him, blinking several times. Sitting next to me he appeared to be about my height. He looked like he wanted to comfort me; he was always so studious so proper, I couldn't imagine him taking me in his arms and holding me while I cried and yet it looked he was about to do just that. He reached both arms towards me, but instead gently patted the sides of my arms. Looking at the concern in his eyes I wanted to open up to him, I just wasn't sure if I could. As if reading my mind he stated, "You can tell me what is wrong, if you wish. I like listening to people and if I am able to I would like to help." He seemed so sweet, with that any resistance to telling him about what had happened with Peter melted away. I leaned on his shoulder, feeling him jump slightly in surprise, and more tears fell as I told him everything starting with how Vanessa had set me up with Peter because I was really hoping to find my own fairytale Prince while I was in college. I told him that I didn't really have any problem with being set up and that her matchmaking seemed like a good idea but that I didn't really feel anything for him at first. Lukas started to interrupt me at this but I shushed him and continued. I told him that Peter seemed so nice and cute and sweet and funny and I was hoping that something more could come from that and he invited me over to his dorm to watch a movie. I told him how we kissed and that it was my first kiss and then I told him the horrible things Peter said and how I tried to show him how wrong he was. I told him that I had felt so confident and like I could prove Peter wrong then but all of my well-hidden emotions seem to crash down upon me when I left Peter's room. I told Lukas how Peter seemed to be the only guy interested in me in college and he acted like there was something wrong with me because I was inexperienced. I ranted about how desperately I wanted my own happily ever after, how I just wanted a guy who would care about me and treat me with kindess, one I could trust, who could eventually love me and Peter just made me feel like shit because it was like that would never happen. As I finished I sat up, wiping away my tears and looked at him. I wondered if he would judge me, think that my quest for love was idiotic.

"Oh my, a lot has happened to you today and for that I'm sorry. Peter doesn't seem like the kind of guy who is worth your time. If you do not mind me asking, why are you so determined to find a Prince Charming?"

"I," I looked down, turning my body away from him and hugging my knees tighter. "I don't know if I can talk about that. I -- Let's just say I've been through some pretty horrible things that showed me how much guys can hurt you but I've never felt what it's like to be loved, cherished, and I want that more than words can express. As for the whole Prince Charming obsession, fairytale romances just seem so beautiful; no matter what obstacles face them they end up together, happy." He placed a hand on my shoulder in a friendly comforting manner and I turned back towards him as he spoke.

"I know you will find your prince someday. Maybe he will be someone you never expected, and he will definitely be better than you ever dreamed. You just need to pick the right guy."

Thinking back to all of the guys I had met and to my recent experience with Peter I could feel years coming to my eyes. "What if there isn't a right guy? I mean how can I pick one when they're all so horrible; all they do is hurt!"

"Not all guys are like that Autumn. I know it may not seem like it, but nice guys are out there, somewhere. Although from what I have noticed they seem to be in shorter supply here in America, but that just means you have to look a little harder, ja?" That elicited a small giggle from me and I sniffled, smiling at him.

"Thank you Lukas." I gave him a quick hug, enfolding his small frame within my arms like a child. I released him and laughed at the shock on his face, he clearly wasn't used to how affectionate Americans could be.

"Y-you're welcome," he stuttered before regaining his composure and smiling at me, removing his hand from my shoulder.

"Talking to you really helped, I mean I'm still kind of sad but I definitely feel better than I did a few minutes ago."

"It is no problem. I am glad I could help. Here, take my number, if you ever need someone to talk to you can, as you Americans say, 'Call me beep me.'" I giggled as I put his number into my phone, he clearly didn't know that people hadn't said call me beep me since Kim Possible went off the air but it was adorable that he still thought that was a thing.

"Thank you again," I said with a smile as I stood to leave.

"Auf Wiedersehen, mon ami," he said, switching between German and French effortlessly.

"Um, ow veerzen?" he laughed warmly at my failed attempt at pronouncing the strange German words, which felt strange falling from my tongue. I decided I would stick to the two languages I spoke: English and Spanish. "Haha okay no more German for me, hasta luego!"

"Goodbye Autumn," he said before walking back into the computer lounge. I guessed he lived in Yellow Ridge, which explains why he had been in the computer lounge so late at night. After his few minutes of kindness I supposed he would go back to the serious, studious person he normally was.

I left their dormitory and started walking back towards my own, I took out my phone to text Nessa. Oh gosh, I thought, how is she going to react to what happened with Peter?