1.
Nile steps out of the shabby building. The sun is warm. She likes the feel of the sun on her face. It fills the void in her heart. Nile jumps down the last few stairs, watching her shadow make a picture on the ground that she does not recognise. The street is quiet. Nile screws up her nose. The smell of rubbish and antiseptic is too much.
Nile runs down the path, knocking over bins as she goes. It is too much. The sounds, the sights, the smells. All collected inside her head, needing to break free. It's all too much. The need to let go strengthens, the small bubble turning into a tsunami. She wants to let go. She wants to break free. But she can't.
Nile falls to the ground, weeping. The tsunami is calmed now, but it will return. But she does not know when. She looks up at the sky. What are clouds made of?
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2.
The marketplace is busy. Everyone is doing something. Nile stands in the middle. She watches a couple kiss. A mother hug a child. An elderly couple helping each other. She feels empty. The sun is gone.
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3.
Nile stands at a stall. It is full of trinkets. A rusty necklace. Bead bracelets with a range of colour. The owner is talking to her, but she does not listen. He huffs and goes to help someone else. Nile runs one finger along a curved dagger. It seems out of place.
Nile moves on to the next stall. Antique dolls stare back at her. They seem to be calling to her. The dolls are begging to be set free. Nile reaches out and wraps her delicate fingers around one. It is cold to touch. She shivers.
How much, she asks.
The owner looks up and says, free for you.
She feels uncomfortable under his gaze. She takes the doll and runs through the crowd. People around her curse at her as Nile pushes through. A man grabs her arm, but she screams and he lets go. She is panicking now. The tsunami is back. It is threatening to drown her, pull her into its dark depths. Nile struggles to stay up. She breathes raggedly, running down the silent street.
A white door appears. Nile quickly turns the doorknob and enters the apartment. A completely white room meets her eyes. There is a small kitchen to the side with white bench tops and white cupboards. There is a white table for two next to the kitchen and a brown couch in the middle of the room. She feels comfortable now. The couch stands out against the white. It makes her feel safe.
Nile sits on the couch and looks at the doll. It is small with brown hair. Big eyes and a small nose. A flowery dress covers the doll. None of this looks right to Nile. She picks at the hair, removing each strand one at a time. The doll is now bald. It still doesn't look right. Nile removes the dress and the eyes at a slow pace. She lines up the hairs, eyes and clothes next to each other on the floor. The colours stand out too much. She feels the panic return. Nile picks up all of the dolls features and runs to the window. She throws them out. The panic disappears.
Nile looks at the doll. Something is missing.
She knows what it is. She finds white paint underneath the sink. A brush from the cupboard. Sitting on the couch, she paints the doll. Its empty sockets seem to thank her. Nile smiles at the doll. It is now white.
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4.
