The sun rose, the velvet rays kissing the soft face of the sleeping boy. His eyes slowly fluttered open, squinting from the bright light. The pupils in his bi-colored eyes dilated to adjust to the light. He raised a hand to rub the sleep out of his eyes as he sat up in bed, groaning at the stiffness of his muscles. He looked to his left and smiled at the boy sleeping next to him, a soft smile gracing his face.
"Oh Felony," he whispered, his heart racing. He leaned down to the perfect boy's feet and kissed his toes, one by one, before climbing out of bed. Awsten went down the stairs to the living room. Posters of Victoria Justice and 5 Seconds of Summer plastered the walls. A shrine to Victoria sat in the corner and Awsten knelt before it. He said a quick prayer before standing again. However, when he turned, he realized he was no longer alone.
Before him stood a giant trash bird, it's large eyes glowing red. It stared piercingly at him and Awsten (to be honest) shit his pants a little bit. The bird gave a deep chuckle.
"Oh Awsten, can't control your bowels can you?" The bird had the voice of Morgan Freeman for some fucking reason. Awsten licked his lips and gulped, the taste of Felony's toes still on his lips.
"Why are you in my house?" Awsten said, his voice quivering. The bird chuckled maniacally.
"I'll show you," the bird said, and snapped his bird fingers. He suddenly transported Awsten and himself to another world.
Awsten landed with a crash and groaned loudly. He picked himself up out of the wood chips he had landed in, picking them out of his hair. He glanced upwards, and was shocked to see Travis before him, wearing nothing but a pair of tighty-whities and a mismatched pair of socks.
"Follow me master," he said. Awsten furrowed his thick eyebrows.
"Master? T-Travis what are you fucking talking about? Did you spend too much time with those damn goats of yours again? You're losing touch with humans, dude, it's kinda weird," Awsten said. Travis stared blankly at him.
"Follow me master," he repeated and turned suddenly, sprinting away. Awsten groaned and rolled his eyes, really not in the mood to run. He lazily trotted after Travis. Once he did, however, he knew even more for certain that it was a mistake. Geoff sprinted from the woods and tackled him, pinning him to the ground.
"Geoff, wha- get off of me!" Awsten said. "I'm the best member of Waterparks and everyone knows, if you damage my face you're dead." Geoff, in response, spit in Awsten's eye. Awsten could hear laughter to his left and opened his burning eye. A single tear streamed down his dirt ridden cheek. He hadn't heard that laugh since-
"Awsten," the voice whispered. Geoff's watery blue eyes stared into Awsten's, and the older of the two boys nodded with a solemn look on his face. Awsten glanced over to his left and confirmed his thoughts.
"It's really you," Awsten whispered, bottom lip and chin quivering. He stood slowly, hands shaking as he stretched out his arm towards the being before him. Before him stood Tinky Winky, wearing nothing but a thick coating of baked beans from head to toe. A bean fell off the tip of his nose as he smiled lovingly at Awsten.
"Yes Awsten. But I haven't got much time. The war is coming to an end and I'm afraid I won't survive. I... know you've moved on to Felony, but-" Tinky Winky was cut off by Awsten rushing over and placing a passionate kiss upon the monstrous, fuzzy creature's lips. Geoff stood close by, tears pouring out of his eyes. Travis was, for some reason, now standing away from the group and stroking a goat, one of his socks in the goat's mouth.
Awsten and Tinky Winky broke the kiss, a string of saliva connecting their lips still. Awsten smiled and stroked his lovers face.
"Oh, Tinky... whatever happened to us?" He whispered, eyes brimming with tears. Tinky Winky smiled forlornly and sighed softly.
"The baby, Awsten. When you got me pregnant, I... I was scared so I ran." Awsten scoffed.
"But why? We were... we were gonna name it Otto and start a family. Sure, baby's are gross and poop everywhere and throw up all over themselves, but I do the same things. And you still loved me, even though you know I can't control my bowels."
"He's right, he can't," the trash bird chimed in. Awsten turned and glared at the bird so intensely that lazers shot from his eyes, instantly obliterating the fat, nasty bird. He turned back to Tinky as feathers rained from the sky.
"I know, but... baby's are more needy than you, if that's even possible. I just-" a gunshot interrupted the lovers' beautiful conversation. Tinky glanced to his left and then back to Awsten. "I haven't much time. I must go. Know that... though I'm most likely going to die, I still love you." Tinky Winky kissed Awsten's forehead and suddenly levitated into the sky, gone as quick as he came. Awsten fell to his knees, tears of baked bean juice leaping from his eyes. He screamed so loud that his vocal cords shredded.
"Awsten... it's time..." Travis said softly. Both of his socks were missing now. He grabbed Awsten's hand gently and helped him up. He placed Awsten on the back of the goat, snapped his fingers, and suddenly Awsten was back in bed with Felony, just as he had awoken this morning. Felony stirred, flipping onto his side to view Awsten, who was still covered in baked beans and wood chips.
"Awsten where the fuck were you?" He exclaims. Awsten smiled lazily, stroking Felony's cheek.
"I got lost... in heaven. But... can you really get lost in heaven?"
