True Love, Or At Least My Version Of It

You Were So Unexpected

The first thought that crossed her mind was he was kind of a jerk when her sister dated him. The next was, that her dating her sisters exs seemed to be trending at that stage of her life. His profile picture showed a guy she couldn't quite remember, his name she knew well, but he looked nothing like she remembered. She thought hard, and wondered if she was confused. His picture was not great, and it was taken far away. She initially decided nah, I'll keep looking through people I may know, but some little voice said go back, just do it. So she looked at his profile picture one more time, and decided to hell with it, she sent the friends request.

Within a couple minutes they were messaging. Next came exchanging numbers. Then he wanted to meet up. All within about two hours. He was moving at lighting speed for her caution filled life. It scared the hell out of her. She was so nervous. What if he didn't like her? What if he just wanted a one night stand? So many what if's, then why's. Why was he in a hurry to meet up? Why couldn't they just talk for now. She was so stuck in her routine. She hadn't let anyone in since her relationship of 7 toxic years ended. That had been a traumatic, emotionally draining, and life sucking relationship that had ended not even 2 months prior. She had that feeling, like this would be different. Her gut again, first the friend request, now this. Forcing her to get outside her comfort zone. She didn't want change. She wasn't looking for a partner, or friends even. Yet, as she told him to come on over, she just knew. She didn't know if it would be good, or bad, but she knew life was about to change.

As more worries pushed at her, she wondered what if she liked him? What if he liked her? How could she explain to her family that a guy was coming around? What would having someone in her life that do to her at this point? She was scared to get too close to anyone. Just beginning to get to know, and dare she say, love herself she was scared to destroy the progress she'd made.

Besides, the next person was going to have to be worth putting her heart on the line. He was going to have to accept her family, and the situation she was currently in. Taking care of her Grandmother, after her second stroke, she was full assist and required constant attention, she could barely walk out to go to the bathroom without Grandma hollering for her at the top of her lungs. She fed her, she snuck off and smoked pot, and sat in Rodger's rocking chair and stared at Grandma, while she played on her phone. Couldn't say too much to Grandma because it would confuse and upset her, so the staring at her was the only way Grandma was quiet.

So many things were in play, and at stake, and for the first time in a long time, she considered everything.
She had gained the respect of her family back, and she was damn determined to not lose it again. Setting mental boundaries and limits, that would come crashing down in no time. She had no idea what lay ahead. He would have to be understanding of her family. If this thing went any where, and that was thinking way too much into it, he would have to be ok with what she could offer, which wasn't much at that time. Jobless, on the run from the police, broke, and broken. She was thinking all this, yet something made her think it could be more than just a one night stand.

So many feelings just over seeing an old ex of her sisters. She vaguely remembered a time that they had flirted maybe, she recalled the time he was arrested from her back seat, she was pretty sure as she was being followed by the police, he was telling her to just pull over so the cop wouldn't pull them over, he was always a little cocky, always a little mouthy. She wondered if he just wanted to get in touch with her sister. If it was just a way to reinsert himself in her life.

What she didn't remember was him wearing glasses, or looking so harmless, or even close to the way he looked in his profile picture. She wondered slightly if she was confused about who he was.

He called as they pulled up to Moms. Ask which one was it again, and she told him they could ride to Wendy's with them, then they weren't allowed. Her youngest sister changed her mind. He brought her ex that she dumped for the narcissist prick she'd just spent 7 years with. They visited for a short bit, then they took off. She wanted to message him, but she didn't want to look desperate. She wanted to ask her ex what he was thinking but she didn't want it to be awkward. He messaged, not long after leaving. She was so excited. He wanted to hang out. As they attempted to iron out details, she said no she wasn't going to a hotel with him, that she was offended he thought it was that easy. He said it wasn't like that, that he had already had the room. She suggested a walk in the park, but it was cold, and slightly snowing. It was early April. She finally agreed to go to the room as they couldn't figure anything else out to do. He came and picked her up. She was nervous, excited, and slightly calm. He ordered pizza, and they started talking, then laughing, then they were looking at pictures, catching up. She allowed him to glimpse the broken pieces she held inside, but only a peek. She was not going to allow past damage to affect this one. She was no longer the weak, broken, helpless person she had been only 2 months prior. She didn't want him to see that side of who she was.