I'm afraid so much. I'm afraid of her. She's crazy, wild, dirty, mean, slow but kind and selfless at the same time. She's different. Not original or unique. She's just different. She's in need. You can never know what's inside of her. She's unpredictable. She's quiet. She's damaged. I'm afraid of her.
Afraid.
of.
Myself.
She became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.
She was dying to hear someone say that she was good enough. That she's worth the wait. That she doesn't need to try hard to be perfect. That she was okay.
She remembered, that the world would be better off without her.
You don't need to tell her a reason to be that depressed, and she should look the beautiful things around her. It only proves what you know about her, proves that you can't imagine what she's seeing through her eyes and what's happening inside her head. She can't find any happiness. Can't find any beauty. Only Pain, Artificiality and Hopelessness.
She just said too much. Shared too much. She just want all her secrets back. She hates getting close to people. She's afraid to love and trust again. And the too much's. Hurts so much.
She would rather hurt herself. Than to hurt others.
She's always alone and unwanted. Felt like she's in every dark corner of the room.
Her whole life was a joke. And she's not laughing anymore.
She acts like everything is okay so no one worries much about her, but she needs help. She needs a shoulder to cry on.
But have you felt saying a painful goodbye to someone you don't want to let go? But what's worse is that, telling them to stay eventhough they wanted to leave.
Until now, her very whole life's a secret garden with very high walls.
