short stories

dead

As I'm walking around the cemetery, I feel the dew from the grass wet the bottom of my shoe. I navigate my way through the gravestones before finding the one I'm looking for.

Lai Rose

2000-2018

A loving sister, daughter and friend. She will be forever missed.

I feel a tear streak down my cheek. Why did I think this would be a good idea? I thought this would calm me down from everything that's been happening, but it just makes it worse. I should have been there for her. My best friend, Lai Rose. The love of my life, Lai Rose. The one person who meant the world to me, Lai Rose. I sit cross-legged on the ground directly in front of her grave. I pull out my sketchbook and flip open to a random page. I begin to sketch Lai, her pale skin and bright, round, green eyes. The ones I fell in love with. I don't realize how hard I'm crying until a drop falls onto Lai's sharp cheekbone. I continue drawing anyway. I quietly form her jawline, just as sharp as it is in the picture that's imprinted in my mind. I make sure every detail is exactly as I remember her being. She always looked sharp and deadly, but kind and caring at the same time. I draw her hair as she always wore it, in a loose braid on the side of her head. She would only ever wear it otherwise when she was at a formal event or was sick.

As I finish my drawing, I look up at her gravestone. She died way too early. I should've been there for her more. She killed herself when she was eighteen. I look back at the picture and start bawling my eyes out. I don't even recognize her anymore. She was Lai Rose, my best friend and the girl I wanted to marry one day. I wanted to have a family with her. She didn't even let me know how she was feeling. All I had to do was blink and she was gone. Her mother had called me crying in the middle of the night. I couldn't make out a word she was saying, but I said I would be right over. What I didn't expect to see was an ambulance and Mrs. Rose speaking to a paramedic, barely being able to hold it in. Once she saw me, she called me over. I still didn't know what happened. The paramedic filled me in, being gentle knowing most people can't handle this kind of news. They found her with blood dripping down her wrists and an empty bottle of pills laying next to her dead body. 

I find myself crying harder and harder. It's the middle of the night, I hope no one hears me. I hate having people hear me cry. I probably would've been fine with that if Lai hadn't died. I keep pinning things on her even though they weren't and aren't her fault. I'm so wrapped up in feeling bad about Lai's death that I don't notice someone walking across the hill the cemetery is placed on. A boy raises his head to show that he's about the same age as me. He reminds me of Lai in an odd way. His piercing grey eyes are what set him and Lai far apart, though. He looks at me directly and I feel myself shrink down. I'm still crying hard and I don't want someone I don't even know to hate me for who I am.

He slowly begins to approach me. I wipe my tears off on the sweatshirt I'm wearing. "Are you okay?" he asks. "Yeah, I'm just a little upset about a friend," I reply, gesturing to Lai's gravestone. He carefully takes a seat next to me, looking at me to make sure it's alright. He spots my sketchbook and gasps. "Did you draw that?!" he exclaims. I nod shyly. Was I really that bad? "It's incredible. Is this your friend?" he asks. Once again, I nod. "You should become an artist or something, you're really good!" he says enthusiastically. I blush and look down into my lap. "Hey, you seem like a cool person. If you ever want to hang out, feel free to text me," he says while handing me a piece of paper that he had just written something on. The paper looked like he just pulled it out of a book of some sort, ragged on the edges. "I will, thanks," I answer.

He told me he had to leave and walked away. I felt my heart flutter when I looked at the paper and saw his phone number with 'text me xoxo' written down. I quickly pull my phone out of my pocket and enter his number. I couldn't think of anything to say now, but I'm sure I will at some point.