The fragility of mortal lives must be comical to those immortal entities that look down upon us, frown at our promise of forever and laugh at our futility to establish some semblance of
permanency . For they know ,that expecting a lifelong vow to be fulfilled is only in fool's dream.
It's was the night before your birthday. Unfortunately ,you'd be spending your birthday alone this year. Not that it really mattered for you,but Taehyung wouldn't stop expressing his regret and apologize for not being here. Taehyung was busy with fanmeets at Osaka ,and would only be arriving the day after your birthday. This isn't the major problem for you, but Taehyung had be quite dramatic about the whole ordeal.
You spent the day like the other day ,engrossed with the assignment but there was a feeling of foreboding in the air that you could've shale off. You didn't want to dwell on negativity welling up in your mind , so you decided to decided to call Taehyung , but no avail . His phone unreachable and for some reason ,this only added fuel to your fire of your concern. You could only hope Taehyung was doing okay. Being unable to reach him make you feel isolated.
A few hours of radio silence from Taehyung, make you feel uneasy . A whole day of it was disconnecting . You felt anxiety burrow itself in your mind, and you nerves stood up an end, make you more jumpy than you ever remember being. So naturally, your phone rang and flashed Taehyung's name across the screen, it's thought all your worry been deflated.
"Taehyung, oh my god ,where have you been all day? I've been worried that I couldn't reach you at all! "You almost about to scream at the phone.
"Calm down jagi"he chortles from the other end. "Do me a favor, do you remember the shop that we argue about the miso ramen. Could you go to that shop in an hour please? "
"But Taehyung -ahh.... "
"Shh! "He cut off your protest. "Do as I say please!...."
That's hoe you found yourself waiting outside the ramen shop. The memory is still vivid in your mind and make you smile even after a year. You loved Taehyung spontaneity and you had a sneaky suspicion that he flown in Osaka a couple days early to spend your birthday together. You expected this to happen ,but you couldn't say these kind of gesture didn't affect you anymore . If anything they made you appreciate Taehyung's presences in your life even more.
You are shaken from your reverie as your attention drawn towards a madman wearing a face mask, waving wildly at you from across the street. There is no doubt Taehyung . You can't help but chuckle to yourself at his innocence and playfulness. One of his hands holds a large bouquet of flower and for what you can see from his face, he seem beaming quite widely making his eyes crinkle. You are sure your expression is facing him.
The foreboding you felt has disappeared and all you feel is pure, unadulterated at the sight of Kim Taehyung . You don't look away for even a moment at his figure crosses the street to approach you. Too late you realise, that he doesn't look away from you either. Maybe that's why you missed hoe it happened and maybe that's why you didn't see it coming.
Broken. Crashed. The flower petals are still pretty thought. They form islands, they form a halo, form a constellation that are entirely new.
A river of red. No, a pool. No, a lake. The dark red stains the streets, stains his head, stains your hand, stains your mind. The world is big, blotchy stain in hue of dark red.
You cradle Taehyung's head in your lap. Help is on it's way. And you're sure, you're absolutely sure of it, that Taehyung wouldn't leave you. You refused to entertain the possibility. For now, all you can do know is cradle his head in your lap and brush his sopping hair away from his eyes. Water drips on his face and you wonder if it's raining. It was only later you were realize that you were crying. Taehyung 's body was limp, his head is a dead weight to your lap. But you refused to accept any reality in which Taehyung didn't leave by your side.
Suddenly you feel fingers enclose your hands, stilling their motion. You look down at Taehyung, your mind still in shock ."jagi... "He breaths out. His voice is ragged by his breath are uneven and this bring another onslaught of tear. "please... Please don't cry. Smile..... Smile for me."
Despite the circumstances ,you give Taehyung a watery smile through your tears.
"Taehyung... Don't leave me Taehyung. I love you Taehyung. Please don't leave me, I love you, you heard that I love you. You can't leave me. "
But Taehyung, Taehyung only smile sadly at you, as though he know nothing can change the inevitable .
Taehyung had once sad that loving you is an eventually ,but he Never mention that leaving you would be an inevitability ." Jagi... "He chokes out.
His face display the every force of his life, he put into the speaking the next few words. But they never leave his lips. You know the word. You've heard him say it a million times. You can see the syllables form in his lips.
All you heard is the last, shuddering of his life
He couldn't say it back
And he would never say it again.
And without him I'm lost.
Why am I a fool, why can't I forget you, you're already gone, you smiles in our picture, unknown of our approach farewell.
Look at me one last time,
Smile like nothing wrong.
So when I miss you, I will remember you.
So I can draw your face in my mind.
But it like burn out flames
Burn and destroyed all of our love.
It's hurt so much,
But now I'll call you a memory.
The memory that hard to be forgotten, cause without you I'm LOST
*author note:so, this story has come to the end. I hope you will love this story. Sorry if there's so much grammar mistakes
