My name is Bellona but people call me bell I am 16 a sophomore in high school and this is my story the story of how I found myself,learned how the world isn't all how it's worked up to be it's dangerous and most of all it's blinded.
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My name is Bellona Maria Anderson but people call me bell I am 16 a sophomore in high school and this is my story the story of how I found myself.
My high school life is pretty messed up. I go to a private school filled with white kids and none of them likes black people, so they talk about me and push me around. I don't really have time to tell my parents they have been so busy, but lately i've found myself looking in the mirror thinking, "what is wrong with me, why do I have to be so ugly." I started tearing up at the thought.
"Honey." I hear my mothers voice, and all of a sudden she comes in and says, "why are you crying?" "I'm hideous, no one likes me. Why do I have to be different! Why do I have to have different color skin?" "BELLONA MARIE ANDERSON I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOU TALKING LIKE THAT ANYMORE! Let me tell you something, you are beautiful. The color of your skin is beautiful don't ever think otherwise."
"El negro no es un la placa verguenza Sino in simbelo glorioso de la grandenza national" "what does that mean Mama, you know I don't speak Spanish," I told her. "It means black is not a badge of shame, but rather a glorious symbol of national greatness. You get it," she asked me. "Yes I do," I told her. She said, "you are something special, you are beautiful, you are strong, you are Bellona. Do you know what bellona means?" She asked me. "No" I said. "It means warrior, and that's what you are. Never forget that, ever, you hear me?" Yes Mama ca-" I got cut off by the ring of her cell phone. "I have to take this," she said. "Ok Mama bye, love you." She said, "bye, love u to, go get in the shower and get ready for bed. You have to go to school tomorrow." "Ok mom." She leaves my room and I get up to get my clothes and head in the shower. ~10 min later~ I hop out the shower and get ready to go to bed.
The next morning
~but when it hurts I can make it better~ "I wake up to my ringtone love don't change by Jeremih. "I get up get my uniform which consists of a skirt and shirt with knee high socks."I get in the shower and start thinking why do people hate us? "we are the same as the we all are human" beings just with different color skin? "I hate that I am ugly this skin on me that I can't change because I would if I could trust. me I just want people to like me maybe if I was white maybe if I looked more like them they would accept me".
"I used to think I was beautiful I loved myself but that all changed when I went out into the world "I mean really went out there! everyone constantly calls me ugly and hideous "says I look burnt like I have been in the sun for to long. and I guess "I agree "If only they would just see that we our all the same but no because lately everyone is so blinded with differentcy that if they see anything remotely different they will jump to conclusions. "I just wish I had someone a brother a sister even a friend would be nice.
"i look at my body and see all of the bruises that I have I try not to scrub so hard but it doesn't work it still hurts" alot! "I wish they would stop doing this to me. but I deserve it I'm the ugly one so it won't make a change if I get bruised right? "I get out of the shower get dressed and head downstairs" "hi Mama" "hey honey" sit down and eat we need to talk "ok I say as I sit down about what I ask be careful while walking to school and back ok and no matter what happens remember we love you and we always will and one more thing never forget you are a warrior. ok *Los Guerrero's no nacen y nu estan hechus para que Los Guerrero's see green a si mismos a travesty del dolor yel sufrimiento de prueba y error y sure capacidad para conquistar sus propias taltas* it means warriors are not born and they are not made, warriors create themselves through trial and error pain and suffering and their ability to conquer their own faults ok so that's what you do if something happens use it ok use everything you got. when you come home we need to talk more ok she said "ok mom I said.
"I go outside and head to school I wonder what that was all about? oh well ~5 min later~ "I get to school I walk in and immidately people start calling me names. "I bet she got put in the oven when she was a baby I heard someone say. "I hold my tears back and head to 1st period "I realize there is a new kid in the class he has clear skin, brown hair with a string of blue and white with grey eyes buff has on a leather jacket with ripped black jeans and and black air forces on*really cute* "wait a minute he's sitting in my seat "I slowly walk up to him and ask nicely um can you please move because I sit there? he starts glaring at me I hear him start to say fine I think at least but he gets cut off by someone telling me to shut up and sit somewhere else "I look down and go to the back in the corner the teacher Mr.henderson comes in and says sit down everyone "time to get serious I zone out as I feel someone looking at me I look up and see the new boy looking at me "sorry I say" for w- is there anything you want to share with the class Ms.anderson "no sir I said ew she talked to him I hear someone says mr.h goes back to teaching.
~45 min later~
the bell rings I get up to grab my things but a crowd comes up to me and knocks them out of my hand I try to walk away but someone pushes me so I end up bumping into Stacy the main one who bullies me ew she t-t touched me *slap* the sound sounded through out the whole classroom I reach up and grab my face feeling tears coming down I'm sorry I say to her I didn't mean to you can hit me again if you want I'm really sorry she reaches her hand up to slap me again but someone stops her I realize it's the new boy stop I look up shocked Wondering why he asked her to stop is all he says he gets my stuff off the floor and hands them to me I look at him weirdly thank you I whisper.
I leave and go to the bathroom to see if my face is purple sure enough it is I go to the sink splash water on my face and leave I go to the nurse and ask her can I lay down she says yes so I head to the bed but I suddenly feel I have to throw up I run to the restroom and throw up come here sweetie she says she feels my head your burning up she tells me I think you should go home "are you sure I ask her I can help you with something if u need me to. no go home she says "ok I tell her.
i left the school and head home. feel someone is watching me so I speed up but the feeling is still there so i start jogging and this time I hear footsteps so I turn around but i see no one I shrug it off and start heading home i get home after 5 min I unlock the door "mama I'm home I say but no response I go up to her room and knock no response I open the door and my heart drops I go limp and tears come to my eyes as I see my mothers body on the ground covered in blood Mama! I rush to her mama! I shake her hold on I tell her I get my phone out of my pocket and dial 911.
Hello" someone answers help please I think my mom is dying I scream with tears coming out of my eyes ok can you tell me where you are I don't respond as I see someone "I think someone is here I say panicking please hurry I say" ok we are on our way she says "soon I hear sirens and that's all I hear before I blacked out.
