Chapter 45

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My dog ate an entire thing of Quality Street chocolates. It was a pack of 28, but she left two in the box, so I guess she showed some great restraint.

She doesn't have thumbs, so I'm very confused on how she opened that box so perfectly.

She's okay though, I took her to the vet at 4am and they said she'd be okay.

***

I don't know when we pulled apart. All I know is that my tears had left my eyes burning with so many emotions, I didn't even know how to feel.

I felt broken, relieved, and angry. So fucking angry.

I thought I had lost one of the only people I never thought I'd lose. I cried for him, I mourned for him. I'd lie in my bed in the middle of the night, with my hand over my mouth so I wouldn't make a noise. I remember my tears soaking my pillow and I would feel my heart breaking as I held back screams and sobs.

I remember Sinister holding me in his arms, as I sobbed and cried and mourned.

Afanas was my best friend and for months, I thought I lost the only friend I had ever made.

And now here he was, sitting across from me with guilt flashing in his eyes. And now, all I could feel was that white hot rage that filled my core and hurt my fucking heart.

My eyes burned as I heard Rachel clear her throat. She stood in front of us, still fidgeting with the hem of her dress, her green eyes flickered up to mine, before focusing on the floor.

I felt my anger boiling, I clenched my jaw as I stared at her, my hands still intertwined with Afanas's.

"You couldn't have called? Or even fucking texted me?" My voice cracked as I struggled to look at her in the eyes.

Her face flushed as she looked back up at me, her pale skin turning a guilty shade of pink.

"I wanted to, Calla. I, I just didn't know what to say..." Her voice trailed off.

I glanced between Afanas and Rachel, my head lowering as I focused on Afanas's warm hands holding mine.

"You two were supposed to be my best friends. I thought Afanas was dead. I thought you were ignoring me..."

I sighed heavily, "What was your plan anyway, huh? Just drop off the face of the planet and never speak to me again? Run away with the man who I thought was dead?"

Rachel flinched at my sharp words.

"Calla..." her voice was barley audible.

I held up a hand, "No, Rach. You can't justify your actions. You knew I blamed myself when I thought he died. Hell, even you blamed me. Were you gonna let me live out the rest of my life, blaming myself for my best friends death?"

Her eyes found the floor again, her hands twitching nervously at her side.

I felt myself feel guilty at my words, but I refused to take them back. Why would I regret words that were true? I held back an apology as I continued

"How long were you gonna wait before you told me? If you even bothered telling me? Twenty? Thirty years?" My jaw set, I clenched my fists together as I felt my face flush red from anger.

Rachel's green eyes flickered up to mine, tears welded in her eyes as she opened and closed her mouth, searching for words to say.

A few minutes passed by, and she finally gave up looking for something to say. Instead she simply shrugged, her watery green eyes staring at the shaggy carpet of the living room floor.

Afanas squeezed my hand, I felt the coolness of his rings press into the flesh of my skin as he held my hand tightly.

"I'm sorry, Cal. It wasn't supposed to be this way...I-I never thought it would end like this, and I never thought I'd hurt you this badly. You were supposed to be sad, obiously, but you were supposed to move on..." Afanas's words were like daggers to my heart.

"Move on?" I seethed "you were the first person who showed me kindness when I was kidnapped. You were the first person I met, Jesus fuck Afanas, you were the one that kidnapped me and brought me into this life! I don't regret my life and I don't regret being kidnapped, but you were supposed to live my life with me! You were supposed to be there for me and you left. You fucking left and that hurts."

I turned to a guilty looking Rachel.

"And you" I spat "you wouldn't have even met Afanas if it wasn't for me. You'd still be working the cash register at fucking JCPenny!"

I didn't get to finish my sentence before Sebastian walked in, his face was pale as he stared at Afanas, disbelief still stung his eyes as he stood in the doorway.

"Afanas" he said lowly "you're looking very...alive."

Afanas shot him a small sad smile, giving my hand one more squeeze before standing up, and reaching out to shake Sebastian's hand.

Sebastian paled even more, his light hazel eyes darkening as he shook Afanas's hand, his white blonde hair falling over his eyes.

"It's great to see you, Seabass." Afanas smiled.

Sebastian ran his pale hands through his blonde hair, his eyes grazing the floor apprehensively before he spoke.

"Sinister...he's on his way."

Afanas cursed, his fists clenching.

"Does he know?" He asked quietly.

Sebastian shook his head, "Uh...no. He'll be here in 10 minutes, though. So you might want to figure out how you're going to explain all this to him."

Rachel shook her head, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I don't think we should tell him."

I stared at her, "That's not your fucking decision. You're not the one who faked your own death. Afanas is Sinister's best friend, it's up to him. Not you."

The room went still. You could practically feel the tension in the air.

I glanced at Afanas, his dark eyes were deep in thought, his arms folded tightly in front of him.

He bit down on his lips, his tongue grazed his teeth as he stared off into space.

I didn't know what Sinister would do. I know he'd be pissed, but Sinister has always been completely unpredictable. He was like a bomb with no timer; you never knew what would set him off.

My eyes adverted to Rachel, who chewed down on her lip as she sat down next to Afanas, her eyes refusing to meet mine.

It was a strange thing to see her now, and forget what it felt like to have her as my best friend. It was like a half-remembered dream, the feeling of friendship was still there but the details were foggy. Like a house you grow up in, it's familiar, but the feeling of home is missing.

I knew her longer than Afanas did, I was her best friend, and yet she hurt me so badly.

"I'll take care of it." Afanas said softly, resting his head on Rachel's shoulder.

Rachel closed her eyes, her hands holding her stomach.

I couldn't believe she was pregnant. I never thought of Rachel being a mom. I was so used to her being inattentive and wild. She was always crazy, like me, but now she was tame and calm. I always thought it would be me that would get pregnant first, not her. After all, I'm married and slightly more calm.

"You guys should probably go upstairs..." Afanas looked at all of us, his hand tapped nervously at his side.

I nodded, standing up, Rachel and Sebastian followed me out the door.

I turned back to Afanas who was pasty white with nervousness, whispering inaudible words lowly under his breath.

"Good luck." I said quietly, flashing him a small smile before heading upstairs.

***

Uh ohhhh.....we all know Sinisters a crazy motherfucker

What's gonna happen?

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