Vie de Fleur

Chapter 8

Three days have passed since I have given up hope. The dreaded clock proclaims "1.5 Days" til Death releases us. Food and sleep are irrelevant here apparently. My tiredness is, as I've observed, a placebo to the outside reality.

Curled in a ball on the wooden floor, I've laid here for so many hours, I can no longer feel my arms and legs. But I don't care, because the mental torture is far greater: the nightmarish images still circle my mind, just as horrifically vivid as they were three days ago. I tried to take my mind off those things, to try to think back to my happy memories.

Except that backfired because now, the images have morphed into my own life. I'm almost convinced it's actually happened to me.

Why am I here? I keep asking myself. Why should I care whether this girl lives or dies? She should handle her own problems.

On the second day of wallowing, the floor littered with tissues, I tried taking action. I attempted to start a fire, by rubbing wood together, or magnifying the light emanating from the walls. Two problems though: I discovered there was little actual things in the room. Most was actual furniture. But even the stuff that wasn't big and sturdy, they were apparently indestructible; I can break nothing off - whether snapping the border of a picture frame, nor ripping diary pages out. I didn't dare touch the stuffed hedgehog though.

After that pathetic attempt, I decided to investigate the closet. Finding it locked, I tried my best to wrench it open, but the doors wouldn't budge. I threw things at it, but it still didn't budge, nor even scratch. I even managed to topple it, which took me literally half a day, but even then, the closet doors stayed shut.

I figured this was all because I was not Ren, therefore I could only observe, but not change. This idea put me at a loss. For, if I cannot change her for the better, how am I supposed to help her?

"Why did they put me here", I grumble for the millionth time, shifting my position on the floor.

Being cooped up here without any leisurely activities, after my previous failed attempts, I soon ended up searching for something to do again.

As of now, if there's anything I abhor most, is lilacs. These glowing lilacs. So beautiful. So fake. So disgusting. They jeer at me, like hunters laughing at a caged animal. The more the animal thrashes, the more they laugh and mock it.

I hate them.

I hate how yellow the room glows.

I hate this fake happiness.

I hate how cramped it is, how it seems to choke you with every breath.

So, around the time when the clock turned to "2 Days", I was halfway done with tearing down the wall paper from the whole room.

And now, as I lay here, I don't feel guilty over what I did. Rather, I am quite content with the room's dark shade of gray. The true color. The true room.

The true prison cell.

The wallpaper was the only thing that I am able to change, able to destroy. It gave me great satisfaction to purge it, to finally be free from the pulsating, eternally bright light. How could Ren handle it, I do not know. Especially after seeing those glimpses into her life.

It's as if this isn't Ren's wallpaper.

I sit up. Wait.

Hold up.

Let me process this.

It makes sense. If Ren's possessions are indestructible, why am I able to tear down, rip, and crumple up the dreaded lilacs?

Frowning, I try to understand this. Certainly, it should be Ren's. I mean who else's would it be? It's not like she shares this room with somebody. I came here by my own accord - and without her consent, I realize.

I think back to the Ren I knew. Or thought I knew.

She was happy. She was always bubbly, always smiling. You'd never guess that anything bad could ever happen to her. You'd never think that she probably hated the nights, and having to go back into her dreams.

She was a thoughtful, pleasant, nice girl, who everyone seemed to like.

But as I see her smiling now, I no longer see that. I see the tears, the cries for help behind that smile. I see how hard she tried to hide herself and her problems from the world.

Like an actress on a stage, she put on a show. And everyone believed it. And everyone applauded.

But a show must end. But for her, it didn't. The audience wanted the one they saw up there. They wanted Ren Hope, the actress. Not Ren Hope, the person she really is.

I bet she tried to show people who she was, but people are cruel, and most probably turned their eyes away. They claim they like her, but they don't even know her.

I was one of those people.

Opening my eyes, I realize they've watered with gallons of tears. I'm sorry Ren. I'm so sorry! You were suffering, and I was one of the people who brought you pain, who refused to see the person behind the actress.

Wiping away my tears, I look around the room. These walls should be painted in her own color, in her own way. They shouldn't be covered, they shouldn't be grayed out. The room should be filled with her natural light.

My eyes land on the clock again. "24 Hours".

Standing up, I gulp hard, squaring my shoulders. Ren is going to die, I realize, unless I do something. I must show her, I must find those happy memories. Those happy moments of light in her life that shouldn't have been flooded over by the darkness.

I must help her. I have been an onlooker of her destruction, but I shall stand by no more!

I will bring her out of the darkness. I must show her that there is something worth living for!

And yet, if she does not listen, if that clock reaches 0, what then do I become? A forgotten memory? Is my fate to be trapped her then? Or will I be released, despite my failed mission?

Death told me that saving her is a futile dream.

But I disagree. I can do it. I know I can. Our lives depend on it.

With my mind made up, I crouch down by the bed, taking out a dusty chest from underneath it. I had found it on when I was looking for firewood, but I figured opening it would cast me into another unwanted adventure.

Now, looking at this pirate chest, I am sure of the happiness locked within. The memories she pushed aside, the laughs she had forgotten.

Taking a deep breath, I open the chest, instantly plunging in.