To Whom It May Concern

03/07/19

March 7th, 2019

It's your birthday today. The hallways were silent at school. Our teachers acted like I was going to break down without notice. Everyone whispered if they even spoke at all. It was like in the movies when there's some super popular stuck up girl that everyone but the "I'm not like other girls" girl likes and the whole hallway just parts for her. I actually didn't have to shove my way through any crowds or dodge around anyone. I just kinda walked; it was pretty weird. I'm not sure why I even bothered going to school at all. I didn't learn anything, most the teachers didn't even teach today. They just let us do whatever we wanted.

I scrolled through Instagram for a bit. My whole feed was just posts from people "remembering" you. They don't deserve to post stuff about you. None of them knew you. They weren't really your friends. They didn't go to your funeral, cry for you, find you. Eventually, I couldn't stand to look at the photos anymore. I opted to take a nap instead. Passed out on the desk. When I finally woke up school had already been out for nearly an hour. I guess no one wanted to try and wake me up.

I dreamed about us while I was asleep. For once, it wasn't a memory. I stood by the old library. It wasn't as run down as it is now, it looked more like it did when we were kids. You were standing a few feet away, just out of arms reach. Your bracelet wasn't on your wrist; when I glanced down, it was on mine. I took a step towards you but you matched it with one back. I tried again but the same thing happened. The air rippled when I moved through it. Nothing was getting any closer to me no matter how much I tried. And then I stopped. I realized something. I wasn't getting anywhere. Not with how I was trying to do things. I tried to call out to you. You didn't move. Then, I felt pain. I didn't think it was possible to feel pain in dreams but I definitely did. It started in my chest and moved to my lungs. I felt like my windpipe was closing up. I couldn't breathe; that's when you started to walk towards me. As I collapsed, you caught me, still not speaking but you just looked me in the eyes and nodded. And then I woke up.