Hurts like hell

Chapter one

How many times that my heart has to be tear apart? The world can't stop hurting me. Is it that bad that I like boys then girls? My third family think and treated me like a outcast. Yeah I'm a orphan that his family die in the fire. I have been kick of two families in my life because I was gay or I'm bad luck for them. I don't blame them. I'm a toy that can't work. No one can fix me. I had a boyfriend.....I guess? He was never there for me. He treated me like toy but why did I like him? Till I got the balls to broke up with that jackass for good. Then he start to beat me up. He kick me, punch me, and told me that I was 'garbage of life' 'piece of shit' 'Go kill yourself' 'worthless'. One day I thought to myself....Will it be good for everyone to everyone for me....to...just....die here alone. I grabbed my knife then cut myself three times on my right wrist then the door open.
"MAVI!!!!" A boy yelled my name at wake me up from the darkness that was in my mind. He was my brother. The only person in my life that cares for me.
"Dillon?" I said as the pain in my head was like a storm that can't stop.
"Why are you doing this to yourself?" He said with so much fear in his eyes that made me feel so much and think about my past that I lost to cold and dark place that makes you loss yourself to the monsters of hell.
"I just want to be alone and die here. Just leave me here alone." I said with tears falling to my face. Dillon walks closer to me and sit next to me on the bed. He looks at me with tears holding the tears back in his gray eyes.
"No way in hell I will let you kill yourself. I don't want to loose you. We are brothers. I will never let you go." He said as he clean up the blood on me.
"You don't need to hide from me. I know how you feel. You can come to me. Please don't hurt yourself. I know the darkness very well. I know that it hurts like hell.  You have to fight back or you will lose your mind. Come to me." He made a smile that made the darkness go away from me then he jump up really quickly.
" here go on this. You will meet more people here. Or made a boyfriend that will love you." Give me my phone with app called W.D. He made me account already for me and add people on there too that he knows. One of the person I know for many years and I want to talk to him.

I started to text him and Dillon fall asleep on my bed like a baby.

The texting messages:
MAVI: hi Jackson. This is MAVI. It's been a long time.
Jackson: Mavi!!!!! Wow!!!  I miss you so much. I was going to surprise you tomorrow. But I want to tell you now. I'm going to your school with you tomorrow.
Mavi: wow I can't wait to see again.
Jackson: hey are you okay?
Mavi: now I am.
Jackson: aww someone is romantic now.
Mavi: what?
Jackson: oh shit....I didn't mean to type that.
Mavi: LOL 😂
Jackson: stop laughing at me you crazy person.
Mavi: hey!!  You have no room to talk you jackass.
Jackson: oh my gods! Why is never one calls me jackass?!?!
Mavi: because you are a jack and you huge ass!! XD
Jackson: hahaha you are very funny.
Mavi: I know right?
Jackson: XD sure.
Mavi: I'm glad that we text today. I'm very exhausted right now. I will see you in the morning jackass. Goodnight.
Jackson: I'm glad too. Okay I will see you on the bus in the morning. Goodnight crazy person.

The chat ended.

I miss him so much. I love him. Wait.....did I just say that. Nooooo! He will never love me the same way.

Next day on the bus. The bus stop at the last bus stop and he was there. Jackson was here. He found me and Sit right next to me. We hug each other.
We talk the whole time. He moved when was in kindergarten to Arizona with his cousin Scarlet. I never met her but he and her seem very close then others from his family. He is one mouth older then me. He is 14 years old and me too. His January 4 and my is February 6. One of cool things that he told me is that his cousin birthday is January 3 and after that day is his birthday. She is same age as us but older then us. He said that I'm going to meet her today on W.D. Tonight when we are having sleepovers for two days. That's going to be so much fun.

The day passed very fast. Nothing bad happened. Jackson and I are at my house and we are going to have a group chat with scarlet. I'm excited about it.

The group chat:

Jackson: hey scarlet. I want you to meet Mavi.
Scarlet: hey Jackson. Nice to meet you Mavi. I'm scarlet.
Mavi: hey scarlet. It's nice to meet you too.
Jackson: so how's Florida?
Scarlet: crazy weather. Good~ish I guess. How's Texas you two?
Jackson: amazing because Mavi is here with me.
Scarlet: awwww you two are cute little jack.
Jackson: hey tall Anya!!!!
Scarlet: jerk!!!!
Mavi: XD you two are really close.
Jackson: yeah she is a pain in the ass all the time though.
Scarlet: oh really. I will show you what a pain in the ass is little jack.
Mavi: she is going beat you Jackson.
Jackson: don't take her side.
Mavi: I think it's more safer there then what she is going to do to you.
Scarlet: XD
Jackson: stop laughing scarlet!!!
Scarlet: never you jackass!!! XDXDXD
Mavi: XD that's funny.
Jackson: y'all stops calling me that you insane people.
Mavi: thank you so much for calling me that but I think I'm more then that though.
Scarlet: I'm the same as him. But I'm worst then you Mavi.
Mavi: I guess so.
Jackson: XD

We talk long night with scarlet that day. In the morning I washing dishes till Jackson saw the scars on my wrist then my heart started to hurt very badly. It was hard to breath when I look at angry face that was on Jackson.
"What hell did you do yourself?!?" Jackson yelled at me. He look so sad and angry mixed.
"I love you mavi. Like love love you. I don't want to hurt yourself. I don't want to lose someone special to me. No more please!! Please. I don't want to lose you Mavi. Please. No. More. Death." He was having panic attack right now. He was breathing very hard. I grabbed him and pulled him to arms and we lay down on the couch. I pulled his face close to my and own lips touch softly and gently. He started to calm down. I was confused when did these panic attack happen. I never seen him have a panic attack before. He was in pain too. What does he mean been no more death? What happened to him in Arizona after I left?
"Jackson, are you okay?" I look deep inside of his dark blue eyes that had tear holding back. He took a deep breaths.
"Yes I'm fine. I thought that you never love me the same. Please Mavi listen to me. Don't kill yourself. I love you so much. You are beautiful and my life and soul. Please I don't want to lose someone that I love again." He started to cry on my chess. He was shaking so much. I hug him tightly and softly at same time. I was holding him in my arms. I felt so happy that he was here with me now.
"I promise that I will never do that again. I love you so much Jackson. Thank you for being here for me. I will not die. You will not lose me." I said as I smile at him and he smiles at me. Then own lips touch as the world around slow down. It felt that time stop for us in it. He was happy and I was too.
Thanks to him that I'm happy and life right now.

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Thank you to my boyfriend Jackson_killeroffire
                    &
My future sister~in~law
hellsfirequeen
                      &
The best brother in the world
torryn_death15

Go read their stories and follow them. They are the best there is out there. You can't find people like them. There is people out there with same problems like me. The people that help me from the darkness at the time is my brother, my boyfriend, my future sister in law. They are the best thing in my life. Please go talk to someone new everyday because their is so much people need you and you need them too at the same time.

Thank you for reading!!!

Jess-the-killer is out now you amazing people out there!