It was dark when Shannon finally came into the bedroom and started undressing. I knew that he believed I was asleep when he slipped beneath the sheets and his strong arm slid around my waist. He pulled my body tightly against his and pushed the hair off of my neck. Placing a gentle kiss right behind my ear, he put his head down next to mine. Another tear rolled across my cheek as his warm breath caressed my neck. The guilt was becoming unbearable and the tension between Jared and myself had to be visible. If Shannon hadn't noticed it tonight, he would eventually.
I knew that I had to stay away from Jared, but how the hell do I do that? He and Shannon were brothers and it would look pretty strange if I just stopped speaking to him. I'm not one who enjoyed deception, so this dirty secret was making me feel like shit. I had to live with what I'd done and bury it so deep down inside, that it no longer controlled my emotions.
When dawn finally came, I'd never been so relieved. It was another mostly sleepless night, and although I did promise Shannon that I wouldn't shut him out anymore, I just couldn't snap out of It. I had to get my shit together and I had to do it today if I intended on salvaging this relationship. The damage was done, even if he didn't know about it. I loved him and made a promise to myself to never hurt him again. He did nothing but love and treat me right and he deserved the same.
My plans were to cook for him tonight, just like he had done for me last night, only tonight, no Jared. I would prepare his favorite meal and maybe we could stay home and just watch a movie. Whatever he wanted to do was fine with me, just so long as we were alone. I was sitting at the table, making a grocery list when I felt the kiss on my head. "Whatcha doing?" He asked, walking over to the coffee pot.
"Just making a grocery list so I can cook for you tonight." I looked up smiling.
He twisted around and tilted his head to the side. "Baby, you don't have to do that." He poured himself a cup of coffee and leaned backward against the sink. He looked so sexy standing there shirtless, wearing an old ratty pair of gray sweats. His hair was messy and he was rubbing his eyes.
"I want to. Look, I'm sorry about the way I've been acting lately, pushing you away and being distant." I got up and walked to him. "I love you." I embraced him.
He set the mug down and wrapped his arms around me. "That makes me happy to hear. I love you too."
I backed up and let go of him. "So, I'm going to go and pick up a few things and I'll be back." I picked up my keys and walked out the door to go shopping.
I was gone less than an hour and when I returned, Shannon came outside holding the phone to his ear. "I know you planned on cooking dinner tonight, but mom wants us to go over there."
"Oh, yeah?" I inquired, handing Shannon a few bags to carry. "That's okay, I can cook tomorrow."
"You sure you don't mind?" He questioned, holding the door open for me.
"Not at all." I opened the refrigerator to put the milk away. "Sounds like a great idea."
"No mom, she doesn't mind." He walked into the next room, still chatting with her. I really didn't mind going over and having dinner with her, but I desperately needed a night alone with Shannon. We just needed that alone time to reconnect. Shannon finished his conversation with his mother and came to sit next to me. I put down my book. "Hi." I whispered, laying my head on his shoulder.
"You sure that you're good with us going over tonight?" He asked, picking up my hand and lacing his fingers with mine.
"Yep. We haven't been over there together in a while, so yeah, it will be fun." He got up and left me on the couch to read. I must have fallen asleep reading because Shannon woke me an hour before we had to leave. I was grateful he gave me enough time to get myself ready.
After a quick shower, I did my hair and makeup. He surprised me when I realized that he was almost clean shaven. I love the stubble so much, so I was thankful he didn't go all baby-faced on me. "Awww, you look so handsome." I ran my hand along his freshly trimmed jawline.
"Thanks, you look amazing." He kissed my lips. "Smell great too." His lips travelled along my neck.
"Mmmmm, you make me wanna stay home."
"As much as I'd love that, we can't do that to your mother. You ready babe?" He asked, drawing the keys from his pocket.
"Yes." I accompanied him out to the car for the short ride to his mother's. When we stepped inside, she hugged me and kissed my cheek.
"Oh, sweetheart, it's good to see you." She was always so pleasant and kind to me. Shannon leaned in, warmly greeting his mother. We all sat down on the couch and I was feeling so relaxed, until I picked up a familiar voice coming in the door. The tension shot through my body and I wanted to throw up.
