Break Up

Last Day

Jaebum hesitated when his hand went to the door knob of his apartment.

He has stayed for as long as he can at work, not really wanting to go home tonight. But like his body moved on its own, he soon found himself on the driveway. After getting the keys from the ignition, he knocked his forehead a few times on the steering wheel, knowing you heard the car pulled up from outside. He then braced himself to walk to your doorstep. Clearing the lump from his throat, he opened the door.

His steps are silent when he went to the kitchen and see you setting the plates.

"You're home.", you say to him with a small smile on your face.

He nodded, his feet planted on the floor.

"Have a seat. Let's eat dinner while it's still hot.". You are now sitting on one of the chairs, opening the lid of the pot that was at the center of the table.

Jaebum sat across from you and silently watched as you scooped the soup to a small bowl for him. His heart aching as he stares.

"Eat up.", you say. You paused as you now noticed the pained expression on his face. But you decided not to say anything about it. You don't want to talk about it. It's your last day together and you just wanted a peaceful night before you leave.

He quietly obeyed, successfully getting some of the warm soup inside his mouth and swallowing it to his stomach. It made him realize he hasn't really eaten at all today. Honestly, he hasn't really done anything productive at work, too. Since morning, his mind was occupied with thoughts you. Of you finally leaving him. Of you finally doing the thing that you said you'd never do.

But right now, at this moment. Hearing your delicate voice, seeing your beautiful face, sitting across from you. This would be the last day he'd get to experience all of this. And he wants to ingrain every detail of this moment on his brain.

After dinner, he went to your room. Well, he guess it's only his room from now on. His eyes went to the large suitcases by the door and over the few empty cabinets. Seeing it this way, it's the first time he felt like the room was too big for one person.

He turned around when you walked in. You stopped when you saw him looking at you for a while, so you asked. "Can I still sleep here? Or do you want me to sleep outside?"

"No.", he shook his head, getting out of his trance. "It's still your room.", Jaebum offered a smile, though his eyes still show his pain. It's still your room at least for tonight, he completed the sentence in his mind.

You were thankful. At least he's trying his best to keep it together. Maybe he is tired of all the fighting too. And it's not as if it was your fault alone when you decided to end it. He was the one who kept pushing you away. He was the one who didn't trust in the relationship in the first place. You're just doing what he has always known would happen. That you would give up on him. You hear him say it numerous times when you fight. Hear it repeatedly from him until you got tired of it. Until you did.

He was about ready to shower when he heard you on the phone from your room.

"I'll probably be there before noon."

"M-hmm."

"You can cook anything you want, mom. You know I'd eat anything if it was cooked by you."

"No, he'll just drop me off. I don't think he'll be staying for lunch.", he heard you say after a longer pause than the previous ones.

Which reminds him. Tomorrow, he'll be sending you away. He thought he could send you off easily, but he probably won't.

He felt the cold water wash over him as he think back of how you two were. How you were once his everything, and he to you. How you were his muse, his number one fan, his adventure, his home. But now he feels like he's at the edge of the cliff. Ready to fall off.

Deep down, he knows it's the end. After today, no more text, no more late phone calls. No more fights, no more I love yous. No more you.

Thinking back, he was supposed to be ready since the beginning. He was used to it. Getting scars from the ones he loved. He was ready. He guessed it was because he was thinking about it too much, or prepared for it too much, that he may have willed it to happen. He always tells everyone all the relationships he has never lasts. And he likes to think he was probably right with you, too.

But the thing is, he was not ready to leave you. It was you who was ready to leave him. And it hurts. Because he wanted you to stay and prove him wrong. And it hurts. Because you were supposed to be the exception. And it hurts. Because tomorrow, you'll go from the closest person to him and back to being strangers.

Drying his wet hair by the towel in his hands, he went back to your bedroom and now finds you asleep on your side of the bed, your hand still clutching your phone. You were probably exhausted from all the packing and cleaning up you did earlier. Or your eyes were probably too tired from all the crying you did the night before. He pulled the phone gently away from you and tucked you in, allowing himself to smile when he saw your phone lockscreen was still of him taken by you on your last trip to Paris.

After a while he just sat there watching you sleep. Not really wanting the night to end, he just sat there not wanting to sleep himself. He aches so much to hold you that moment, but his pride didn't allow it. So, he just settles looking at your features. Maybe he can memorize every curve of your nose and cheeks. The size of your ears. The color of your lips.

Even if it's just a short time, he wants to save this in his memory.

Before the morning without you comes. Before this last day ends.

**

"Last Day" by BTOB