the inmate

The ticking noise was filtering into my brain, scratching at my cells, and overall, I could feel myself going insane. I didn't know how long I had been stuck here, in this white room of torture. There was only one way out, only the front door. But I couldn’t just leave. I was trapped.

But my heart only thumped faster, I was ready to cry with my fear. But I couldn't show we weakness to the others trapped with me. I had to stray strong… stay strong…stay strong....

How could I?

How was everyone else so calm? I could feel there fear, but they did so well to hide it. I took a quick glance around the room at the other inmates, careful to not be caught by the warden. Otherwise, I couldn't bear to think about what would happen. Heads where down, eyes peeled in front of them, carful to make no eye contact with anyone else.

All around me faces where filled with strain and pain. But still calm, so calm.

I tried to copy them. I could feel the eyes of the warden on me. I stared down at the chains that bound my hands together. The chain links blurred into fuzzy shapes. My vision was doubling.

I was ready to hyperventilate. It took all the will power I could summon from the depths of my soul to stop trembling for all to see. But I was shaking like an 7.2 earthquake on the inside. My heart was being thrown around my chest by a catapult.

My thumbs twirled together in anxiety.

How did I end up in this situation?

But then I remembered the hideous truth. I shuddered as I remembered. I swore an oath to myself. I would never do it again, the anguish was too much to bare.

Then it hit me, i had promised myself that last time. And I was in the same situation again.

A clock was sitting on the wall. Its white face blended in with the white wall paint. Its faint shadow was the only way to tell that the back numbers where not a part of the wall. Its hands continued on their unboreable music, creating that ticking sound. But the hands moved way to slow for the ticks. That painful, distracting sound made me want to punch something till my knuckles bled.

tick...tick...tick....tick...

I held my chain tighter in my hands. I was ready to scream, to shout, to flip a table across the room and run. But I couldn’t leave. I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t just walk out.

Staring down at the chains again, I focused as hard as humanly possible, for me at least, on happy things. The sun, flowers, meadows. It was so hard to shut out those little distractions.

I had to think positive, I told myself. Positive.

A shrill sound bounced around the walls. I almost jumped out of my skin in panic. The wall changed from white to yellow, posters covering almost every inch of it. The black board suddenly appeared. Thick white chalk spelt out the dreaded words in front of me.

TOPIC TEST TODAY!

The inmates turned to students, shuffling to the front of the classroom to hand in there test papers.

The chains where gone. There was a paper on the desk to replace it. I still had 3 pages full of questions left undone. But time was up. I was sure I had failed. Again.

With shoulders slumped, I walked to the front of the room and handed in my paper. I didn’t look the teacher in the eyes.

I promised to myself I would never, ever, in a million years, procrastinate again, using the very same words I had said last time.