Sadistically Sweet (Watty Awards Finalist 2012)

Leaving My Innocence

I went to bed that night wrapped in Francis's arms and scared out of my mind. 

After Olivia left, Francis decided to light a fire in the fireplace. I watched the flames slowly crawl up the wood and in engulf it. The flames leapt and died in a continuous dance. My mind was flooded with thoughts while my body had sat stiffly in Francis's lap. 

He had decided he wanted to 'cuddle' while we watched the fire. So I was limply drawn into a one-sided embrace. I don't think he realized that he was the only person who participating in everything; all the hugs, kisses, and not-to-subtle glances at the dinner table. 

While I hated every single second, there wasn't much I could do. He could easily kill me if he wanted to. Denying him all this one-sided affection could bring out his dark side; and every time that happened I got hurt. 

Instead, I didn't participate. I simply let him do want he wanted; to an extent. If his hand wandered near anywhere inappropriate, I would push him away. When this happened, he would sigh and try again later. He had been doing this the entire day, until I decided to skip dinner and go to bed early. 

I tried falling asleep, but every time I closed my eyes I saw his face, smelt his cologne, and was jolted awake. That night I don't know if I ever truly fell asleep. It was one of those half-asleep half-awake times; and I hated it. 

Whenever I had consciousness I would feel a deep pit forming in my stomach. Deep down I knew something bad was going to happen, but I didn't do anything about it. What could I? I couldn't get out from Francis's arms to run away; I was stuck. How was I supposed to rescue myself?

I could have tried so many different things, yet I stayed. I know I made a lot of stupid mistakes in my life, but this had to tie with getting into the car with Francis. 

In the morning, I awoke to light spilling over my face. I had not remembered falling asleep, or how long I was out. All I knew was that I was alone in the bed; Francis was gone. My immediate reaction was to look around, in case he was lurking in the shadows, but I found him no where.

This was bad. Every day since I had slept in this bed, he had always waited for me to wake up. Unless I overslept, he should have been right beside me. Maybe that was it; I just overslept. Nothing to worry about... right?

The door slowly swung open and I quickly gather the covers to my chest. I didn't want Francis to see my short pajamas more than he already had; he didn't need to be getting any ideas. His back entered the room first, and I was nervous until her turned around. 

In his hands he held a tray of food; pancakes, eggs, fruit, and orange juice. I looked at him funny, trying to figure out his game. He just smiled back and placed the tray at my feet. 

"I brought you breakfast in bed," he said quietly while placing a kiss on my lips. 

"Thank you, but what is the special occasion?" I asked cautiously. 

"Oh, nothing. I just wanted to treat my Sugar. You slept in so late I figured you would appreciate some food," he replied with another smile.

Two things registered through my mine. First, I did sleep in late so my guess was correct. Second, he called me Sugar again. This didn't bug me, but I found it interesting. Lately, he had been only calling me by pet names and not my real name; this was bitter sweet. I hated how he said my name and am glad he doesn't, but these little nicknames were a little too lovey-dovey. His favorite was 'Sugar' because I wanted powder sugar on my French toast. 

"Thanks," I replied looking away, "but you didn't have to."

He did his signature move; put his hand under my chin and pulled my face to look at him. His eyes held admiration, passion, and something I quite didn't understand yet.