Game Over

Lust at First Sight

Its weird when people say " Oh I knew it was love at first sight", I might be a hopeless romantic but no hun, how can you know by just one glance that your in love? Well, I definitely learned the hard way that it doesn't go that way for everyone, yes there was once a time I thought that I was in love, seems like a blur now, but after a while you realize it wasn't really love, but it was lust. I would always go to church with my grandmother every Sunday since I was a kid, I knew everyone but one Sunday, right before the sermon started in strolled this dashing young man, who caught the eyes of both me and my best friend T. Every now and again, we would both look to the side were he was sitting and then turn around, I was just string to understand what life is and I had just gotten hurt by the person I thought I loved, but I was only a pawn in their life I wasn't ready to go back through something like that again. When T told me she kinda liked him, I was glad literally happy, I would try and get them to talk but there was always a lingering look on me whenever we were all in the same area. It continued to the point were I started to develop a liking towards him, I could say it to my best friend because well she liked him first. One Sunday I was on the outside when he walked up to me and we started to have a conversation, he then proceeded to ask me for my number, without thinking I gave it to him... I really wasn't thinking.. After a while we started hanging out , I started to enjoy is company and those feelings started to grow. I don't know when all this happen but I got so caught up in the attention I was getting, the feelings that came with such attention... It got the point where I was love struck and my friends would warn me abut falling so deep, so quick because I had just gone through a breakup and I wasn't back to my old self. I kept telling them "guys I'm okay, I won't fall, plus he looks like he got a girl", I wish now I had listen to myself and din't fall. There was just something so captivating and mysterious about him that pulled me, I mean I wasn't completely single, but I was hooked to the point where I would forget I had someone else. From secret conversation at some odd hours in the morning to sneaking kisses with each other. I started thinking I had found "the one" and I was hell sure that there was nothing that could ruin this. Little did I know, I was just a pawn in something that was supposed to be love. No matter the warnings I got, I still stuck through this one, had plans that would answer all the questions that were always asked. Its a complicated story, one that is still taking time to get over even if its been years, and you have just bought your self front row tickets to witness my heartbreak that still to this day has me crying at times. The name is Mercii and I hope you have lots of tissue to wipe your tears cause this get deep, goes into emotional aspects, the mental state I had after everything happen.