How I've Changed (The Story of Death)

 You could call me many things. I have existed since the beginning of life, but not the beginning of time. There are many names for me, decay, destruction, war, famine, I come with them all. But listen to me when I saw that I am not a monster. I am not something to be feared. I can tell you right now that when I visit you my intentions will be favorable, and my feelings for you will be mutual with your own. Throughout culture, people have tried to personify me in different ways. Gods, afterlives, heavens, hells, and demons have all been thought up in my name to immortalize me. It's true, I am immortal. And while these concepts are flattering, I would like to speak some truth on the matter. Many people will call me death, some the grim reaper, others will call me satan or Lucifer. It's true, I am death. But the look that Halloween has painted for me really does not do me justice. No, I do not wear a black cloak and I do not carry around a large intimidating scythe. My weapon is quite robust, but it's not so big. I really don't have a tangible form, but nowadays when I meet people I come in a form that they can understand. A young man in a black tunic, black breeches, boots, with jet black hair slicked back and calm blue eyes. The eyes are to calm the soul so that they feel better about crossing into the afterlife. In reality, I am just an omniscient force watching over the entire universe. It will be hard for you to understand, but there is a way I can keep tabs on every soul that has ever lived or died. I know who you are, I am watching you now, and once you die you will meet me in the "flesh".

I have emotions, it may not seem like it because I hide them so well, but I do. I would like to make it clear that I do not enjoy what I do. When I take someone to the other plane, I suffer with them. I feel their loss and their pain. I also feel how it affects their loved ones and their families. It's a difficult process, one that has brought me to my knees a numerous amount of times. But I must do it, it is what I was created to do. This is my story. The story of death.

My work began the first time a living organism died. When it did, I was created from nothing to usher in a new existence on the immortal soul of the microbe that had perished. It was easy at first. These creatures could not feel, and they died in the millions. As evolution progressed things became more complicated. I found myself taking many different fish, animals, and reptiles to the next place. Once they got eyes it became difficult. I could tell that when things started to feel it would be hard. But the look on their eyes, that glare of confusion and sadness haunted me. Every single animal that I ushered into the afterlife gave me that look and I hated it. I was shutting them away from a life back on the planet they called home and I could feel everything they were feeling. When things started to feel sad I got sad, and I started to actually experience emotion. I had never felt it before, but now I had it and I still have it.

And then came humans. You people are a thorn in my side. Your eyes will cry in desperation more than any animal or any microbe or an insect. And you know why? Because you can actually understand what is happening to you. It started out fine, an early human would look at me and simply comply. I got concerned when I found a person who had been hurt by tools and weapons, gashes and burns that I had never seen before. And then emotions started, and language. I suddenly found people pleading for their life back, or throwing themselves into my arms because their life was so awful. It got worse when civilization started. The worst part was the plague, it spread like wildfire. Every time someone would sink to their knees and say it was too soon, and it was. I took pity on so many people but I had to make them pass. That was before I met Sir Gregor. A knight of an unknown royal guard. He materialized from the material plane and sunk to one knee, bowing his head at me. He was covered in cysts and scabs, oozing and pussing at an awful rate. I could feel each and every one of his emotions coursing through my veins. He was sad inside, his family was lost to him, his wife was pregnant, and he was the last to die. Sir Gregor would have given his life for his family, and for his king. But he could not save either.

"I know what must be done" Was what he said to me. "I just ask that my sword, which has defended me so valiantly in life, could come with me" I gave him his sword, and he left. As I watched him leave, I also felt the trickle of a tear running down my cheek. It was the first one I had shed in my life.

I do not take breaks. If I did, it would ruin the universe. People would stop dying, and everyone would be immortal. But I wish I had taken a break when a certain child made his way into my realm. He had gotten my attention, and in the hospital where he lay in the dead of night, I came. I stood by his bedside, and when he saw me his eyes widened. I brought a finger to my lips and smiled. "I am not here to hurt you," I said, pulling up a chair quietly and sitting down. "Please do not be frightened, Daniel. I know how hard this can be" I could tell he did not understand. Children were the worst. He tried to mouth something, but his mouth was sealed shut. What happened to Daniel was tragic. He was kidnapped and tortured for three months before he was discovered. His disgruntled neighbor had taken him far away and burned his skin almost to the bone. He tore away at his flesh until Daniel was barely living. In the end, when the police found him, he dropped Daniel into a huge pot of boiling grease. I looked into Daniel's cold and soulless eyes, surrounding them was the cracked and burnt skin that caked his body. Not one part of him was left untarnished. With a cold pale hand, I reached over and touched his. "You will be okay" I whispered to him softly. "It is hard to tell people this. But you are dying, Daniel..." I trailed off, his emotions hit me. It was like he had bottled them up, and they were all flooding out now. I lowered my head and bit my lip. The immense pain he was feeling was indescribable. When I looked up at him, he was crying, tears were streaming down his face, exploring the cracks in his skin. And with every sob, I could tell that a wave of pain coursed through his body. This boy was miserable, he wanted to die. He wanted to feel release, even though he was just a decade old. I put a snowy hand to his chest and sucked the life from him. It was one of the hardest things I've had to do.

How do you look a dying child in the eyes and tell them that death is nature? That things like this happen in the world and you as a human must blindly accept them. I've grown to resent humanity, but that is my own fault. You gave me feelings, something that I'll never forget. When all of you are extinct and trust me when I say that this is soon, I will always remember you as the race that changed me. The race that changed death. When all of you slip into the ground and decompose, you will see me. And you will know that I have suffered as you have suffered, that I feel everything you feel. You will feel the confliction I feel. The question as to whether what you feel is valuable or whether it was wasted on a universe that does not care, that cannot feel. And you will say goodbye.